Mystery Tattoo | Norenmin

Chapter 33: Na Jaemin

Jaemin was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the hospital bed, a blanket pulled firmly around his shoulders as he stared around the empty room.

Ten and Sicheng had left the room when the doctor wanted to talk with him. He supposed it was to give him privacy but he really wanted them to come back now. He didn't want to be alone. His gut twisted at the thought.

You're going to be alone for this Jaemin felt heat behind his eyes. Where were Jeno and Renjun? They both ran out before the doctor had even told him, Renjun first and then Jeno shortly after. Didn't they understand how scared he was? He was just told he had cancer! It was apparently serious too from his conversation with the doctor. He felt sick, but not exclusively from the cells multiplying in his body.

His hand traced over the bump on the side of his neck and then on the one under his arm. He had thought the bump had been a mosquito bite from the warm weather and he hadn't even noticed the one under his arm. The once unconcerning bumps seemed too obvious now and they bothered him to no end.

The doctor had told him that they were enlarged lymph nodes. The bumps were the first and most identifying features and symptoms of leukemia. He had also asked Jaemin about he had had fevers recently, if he was prone to body aches, unintentional weight loss or a loss of appetite, and if he had frequent fainting or dizzy attacks.

All to which Jaemin had reluctantly answered yes, only confirming that he had the disease.

He hadn't known, of course, that these had all been symptoms. He had been putting up with it for months, he just thought he was fighting off a cold or other common illness. The fainting or dizziness hadn't concerned him either, he just thought he was iron deficient but didn't go further than that.

The first question that he had asked the doctor was if he was going to die.

The doctor had answered that they needed to run another test to get more conclusive results and determine which kind of leukemia it was. Although he did suggest that Jaemin most likely had acute lymphoblastic leukemia and that if he did, he was looking at an 85% chance of survival but a long and hard treatment that lasted around 3-4 years. The doctor continued to say that every patient is different, the statistics couldn't apply to each and every case and that Jaemin could have thousands of factors that set him apart from the cases included in the statistics.

Whatever his case was he didn't really care. He wanted Jeno and Renjun. He refused to be alone and he wrapped the blanket tighter around his shoulders, moving it up to cover the top of his head too.

Honestly, he just wanted to know if Renjun and Jeno were alright. They had been so upset and had run out. Jaemin looked out the window to see the once light grey sky now releasing millions of droplets. He hoped they hadn't run out into the rain.

He sniffled and felt tears well up into his eyes. He drew the blanket as tight as he could and tucked his head down into his chest. How could they all leave him alone when he needed them the most? He tried to understand that they were probably in shock but didn't they understand that he was hurting too? That he was the one that actually had cancer? He felt the hot sting of tears rolling down his cheeks as tried his best not to cry.

He heard his door click open and he brought his head up to meet the two pairs of eyes that he wanted to see the most. He let out a sob when they fully entered the room and he watched through blurry vision as they both rushed over to him. He cried harder as he felt their arms slip around him, providing more comfort than the blanket ever did.

The scent of paint and cologne mixed together and he took a big inhale, relishing in his two favorite smells. He heard the hospital bed creak and felt it dip down as Renjun and Jeno smushed onto it on either side of him. They both lay on their sides and pulled Jaemin down too, entangling all of their limbs together, pressing as close as they could get.

"Nana," Jeno murmured into his ear after a minute or two and he felt his hands wipe away the tears that soaked his face, "We won't ever leave you alone again. We promise to stay by your side through it all, no matter how long that is. I'm not going to say everything will be okay because it won't. You'll have good days and then you'll have days where you want to give up. I won't pretend that I understand what you're going to go through or how you feel, but I will be by your side through it all. I know it. I love you so damn much it hurts me Jaemin and we'll go through this together." Jeno pressed a kiss to Jaemin's temple. Jaemin felt his throat tighten.

Renjun took a shaky breath from the other side of his sick body and Jaemin felt him start to trace designs into his skin. "I'm sorry about running out earlier, I was overwhelmed but it wasn't fair to you or Jeno. But I promise, with all my body and soul, that I won't leave you alone. You may not want us to be around you sometimes and I know that there is a part of this journey that you have to go through yourself but we'll help with the other parts. We'll try our best to give you all the support you need. I love you Jaemin." Jaemin felt more tears being wiped off his face and felt Renjun's lips press softly against his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead.

"I love you," Jaemin managed to choke out but it was quickly followed by another unwilling sob. He felt Jeno and Renjun press closer to him, tucking their head below and on top of his own.

Jaemin knew that he was going to go through hell, but, it seemed a little more manageable with Jeno and Renjun by his side. Jaemin felt Jeno's hands ghost over his body, calming the younger down and felt Renjun continue to press kisses on his jaw and all over his neck. Jaemin could do this.

He had to be strong.

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Thank you guys for all your support I'm going to cry.

I'm listening to a sad piano playlist while writing this and I'm debating whether or not I should grab some ice cream.

I think I will.

Please remember to take care of yourself and stay healthy and safe, I love you all! :)