𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 ᵃᵗᵉᵉᶻ

008.

━━
talk dirty to me
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◤ warning | cringy pick-up lines that'll make y'all wet as hell uwu ◢

that night after san had put yeosang into sleep mode, he made it his mission to somehow put a child lock on his computer. he didn't exactly know how, but gosh darn he was going to figure it out somehow. be it that everything that had happened was beyond funny, he still wanted to preserve yeosang's innocence.

"wow I'm acting like a mom," he huffed under his breath as he opened his computer screen. his face glowing brightly from the artificial light. he searched up child filters for the computer and finally found one that seemed promising.

"please work. i don't wanna lose my soft boy."

he downloaded the safety guard and sighed. hopefully this worked. with a few more clicks he closed the screen and snuck his way back into bed next to yeosang.

the next morning yeosang asked san if he could, yet again, use his computer. san agreed and silently prayed that the child lock works. he couldn't be spending his entire day sitting next to the android monitoring its searches.

while yeosang did its research on jokes and conversation prompts with the laptop, san went to work cleaning around the suite and looking for clothes he thought would best fit yeosang seeing as the android had been wearing the same clothes for the past month now.

the boy rifled through the walk in closet by the laundry room. he pulled out a handful of lose shirts and sweats, picking out a few pairs of pants and undergarments for yeosang. the styles and patterns he chose were all light colours that he thought would match cutely with yeosang's pink cheeks and shining blue eyes. he smiled at the mere thought of the androids reaction to the new wardrobe. maybe it'd laugh and smile once san handed him the pile of newly folded clothes. maybe he'd even get a hug. he chuckled. although it seemed unnecessary, san spent quite a long time picking out the clothes. he wanted to find ones that would look the best on yeosang, to help make the android look even prettier.

as he was just about to set the clothes down and begin folding them, he heard the sounds of muffled giggles and pattering feet. he paused what he was doing and set the pile of knitted fabrics on top of the washing machine. he waited for yeosang to say something. he knew what laughter meant: somehow he'd either get teased or he'd be threatened with boner. either thing he wasn't very fond of. being teased wasn't so bad, it was being aroused that was hardest. can you imagine how difficult it would be to jerk off next to something that can sense your heart rate, better yet that sleeps with you, and is the very cause of your throbbing erection? pretty difficult. and yes, this means san has tried.

he tried mentally preparing himself as he rose from his crouch on the ground. "maybe i'll just throw the computer away. i don't need." he grumbled.

"sannie! sannie!" yeosang called from the kitchen. "come, come, come." it squealed.

"what ? what? what?" san calls back as he makes his way over to the giggly android.

"i have a joke for you~"

san walks into kitchen hesitantly, brows furrowed and eyes squinted with heavy suspicion. i don't trust this, he thought as he walked over to one of the cupboards and grabbed a glass.

"a joke? okay, what is it?" he asked as he filled the glass with water.

"do you like dragons?" yeosang asked practically jumping up and down, tuffs of its soft brown hair flying with it. its smile was as bright as ever and san couldn't help but smile back at the sight.

"dragons? what about them?" his voice muffled from the drink as he brought it to his lips.

"just say yes! just say yes!" yeosang whined.

"okay, yes, i like dragons."

"good, cause i'll be dragon my balls all over your face tonight."

spurts of water flew from the boys mouth as he chocked. he placed the glass down on the counter top and heaved out a big breath. he's found pick up lines.

"what the hell!?"

"isn't it funny?" yeosang laughed. "i have more!"

"wait yeosang- "

"oh, there's another one i think you'll like! it's related to homework and you do that stuff all the time!"

"i- okay." the boy swallowed hesitantly.

"i'll treat you like homework," the android paused for dramatic effect, although really it just made san more anxious. "i'll slam you on the table and do you all night long!"

is it possible to choke on air? pretty sure you can. san somehow managed to choke on the air around him, rolling into a fit of flustered coughs. his cheeks burn a vibrant red and eyes blew wide. "s-sangie, do you even know what those jokes mean?" he managed through strained coughs.

yeosang shrugedr and takes a seat on the kitchen counter. "no, not really." it sighs, "i kind of understand the dragon one, although i'm not sure how someone can drag a dragon on someone else's face. but I have absolutely no idea what the second one meant, I thought maybe you could explain it to me."

san facepalmed hard, pressing his hand firmly on his forehead as he tried hard not to burst out laughing. and to think he thought yeosang couldn't be any more innocent.

maybe for his own sake, he'd have to ruin him. he pulled his hands away from his face and gave a devilish grin. yeosang cocked its brows up with confusion.

"how about instead of explaining it," he smirked and took a step closer to yeosang, trapping the other against the countertop. He placed his hands on either side of the android's face and forced it to make eye contact. "why don't I show you?"

[...]
okay so like, i want them to kiss (//v//) but idk if i can write it. every time i've tried to write kIsSiNg i always blush and squeal so like djfuiagvbav
[ sorry the chapter is a bit bad and unedited, it's 2am and i'm really tired]