𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 ᵃᵗᵉᵉᶻ

016.

━━
we're life a wifi router
━━

◤ notice| please, please, please read the message at the end ◢

San sat hunched over a pile of medical documents. His hands fisting tightly at his raven locks, his stress taking the form of small crescent moons on his knuckles.

His eyes mindlessly reading over each document, only processing the few words that he could actually pick out: still no proper diagnosis, new experimental treatments available for use and countless pages filled with other prescription drugs that had yet to be sent out.

He usually had Jongho to help him out, going out to get his medication for him when he literally couldn't. But now that the younger was gone, and his prescriptions were running low, San feared he might actually have to go outside and get them himself. Something he's done only ever done once before and regretted greatly. Let's just say it ended with him spending two weeks in the hospital.

He let out a distressed groan at the thought of it and dropped his head to the tabletop. In his current state he was unaware and the android that snuck up behind him. Yeosang only watched over him, it was awoken by the quickening sounds of San's disgruntled heartbeat. It stood at a good distance from the boy, wondering what was distressing him so.

"Are you okay?" It squeaked.

San groaned again, this time lifting his head up to look Yeosang in the eyes. "No," he whispered.

"Wanna watch a movie? That always seems to cheer you up." It beamed, walking over to see what San was looking at.

San let out a shaky breath but nodded. He rose from his spot and made his way over to the living room.

Yeosang stalked closer to the stack of papers, making sure that San didn't see it snooping. While the boy set up the tv Yeosang quickly read over the documents, brows furrowing as it read the doctor's statements. They explained that they still had no idea what caused the boy's insane allergic reactions to people and the outside world and that they wanted to conduct more tests.

Yeosang scoffed.

After spending time with San it had already determined what was wrong with him. It had made a few hypotheses about the boy's illness and had conducted a few studies of its own and at this point, Yeosang was almost certain of San's diagnosis.

San had an extremely weak immune system which is why he's so sensitive to everything, and as for his allergy to people, well Yeosang figured that it was just a psychological illness. Something that was still a mystery to Yeosang, but that was all it could figure was wrong. Nothing else could explain it. It couldn't tell this to San yet, it didn't want to tell the boy something that wasn't entirely a hundred percent accurate. But damn did Yeosang want to shove its own diagnosis down those other doctors' throats.

With one final glance down, Yeosang left the kitchen.

✆

After they finished watching the movie it was time for bed. San made his way to the bathroom to wash up while Yeosang tried its best to get dressed by itself.

When San came out, however, Yeosang was still struggling with its shirt. It managed to wiggle its way into the sweats it'd been gifted but its shirt was another story. The garment was thrown on the ground with cute frustration. Yeosang sat on the bed with its arms crossed over its chest, a prominent pout forming on its lips.

San stifled a chuckle, walking over and picking up the discarded article. "Need help?"

"Yes."

San nodded and flipped the shirt right side in, fixing it around until it wasn't tangled anymore. Yeosang figured maybe this would be a good time to talk to San. Jongho had told it that San normally isn't one to face confrontation head-on and that sometimes he needed a little push. Yeosnag didn't understand that until just now.

It contemplated how to approach it, but decided to just go for it. It's not like their situation could get any worse.

"S-san?"

"Yes?" the boy answered, eyes still train on the shirt as he weaved his hands through it.

"I feel like the connection between us is fading, kind of like your wifi router," it paused and let out a short sigh, "and I don't like it. I want things to go back to the way they were you know?'

San didn't respond, instead, he positioned his hands into the shirt's neck hole and pulled the bundle of fabric over the android's head. Yeosang's hair puffed up at the action, and San sighed as he fixed the other's bronze locks. He then stuffed his right hand through the left armhole and gently pulled Yeosang's arm through.

"Sannie, are you still mad at me? Cause if you really are then I'll power down." Yeosang mumbled.

San halted all movement and stared the android dead in the eyes. His expression was steeled, but his eyes bore an emotion that Yeosang had never seen before.

"You have Dr. Jeong," it continued, "and Hongjoong to take care of you so realistically I'm not needed if you don't want me anymore."

San quickly weaved Yeosang's other arm through the armhole and pulled it tightly to his chest. Yeosang's body stiffened, wanting to hold San back but remembering that San said not to touch him.

"No, no, no, please don't do that," he muttered into the crown of Yeosang's head. "I-I'm not mad at you . . . I just- don't want to hurt anymore. I-I'm tired of getting hurt. They always hurt me." He sobbed.

Tears brimmed in his eyes, despite it all he hated the thought of Yeosang leaving. He didn't want to be alone. Not again."They always l-leave, everyone leaves and it hurts."

Yeosang could feel its hair dampening with San's tears and it ached. If there's one thing Yeosang hated in the world, it would have to be seeing San sad. A Sannie with pink puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks made for a pretty heartbroken Yeosang.

"But you were the one who left," it mumbled, voice muffled by the boy's chest.

San paused for a while, mind running over everything that had happened over the past few weeks. He honestly thought that distance would keep his heart from hurting, but in reality, it just made everything more painful. "I thought maybe it'd hurt less."

[...]
hey butterflies,

i wanted to tell you that i'll be taking a break from writing for a while. everything that has been happening in society and to my community has taken a huge toll on my mental health and frankly, i feel my self not wanting to do anything.

i'm extremely disappointed in society and find it disgusting that things like this are still happening. i want it to end, i want racism to end for the sake of my future and many others. i have added petition links in my bio. please, please, take just a minute of your time to sign them, you're voice matters and has value(even if you aren't black) and it needs to be heard. (if the link doesn't work there dm me and i'll send it to you)

thank you for your time, love you all so much and please be safe

- love, siggy ♡