𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 ᵃᵗᵉᵉᶻ

014.

━━
what is this i'm feeling
━━

Yeosang stood before the boy in pure shock. It was as if their argument from the past was repeating itself over again like a broken record. The same frustrated glint in the boy's eyes, sharp jaw clenching and fists balling tightly.

Yeosang gripped tightly as the hem of its shirt, chewing its bottom lip profusely. "S-so what if I'm not human?" It mumbled, "That doesn't mean I don't feel happy when you do hug and kiss me."

"That's just the thing Yeosang! You don't feel! You have no emotions so how could you possibly know anything? You don't understand how I feel!" The boy was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet with simmering anger and impatience.

"Then explain it to me so I can understand!" Yeosang begged. It's lips trembled and shoulders shook.

Why was San saying things like this? Yeosang could feel! It knew it could, how else would anyone explain the bubbling feeling in its chest whenever San smiled or the sudden sinking feeling it felt whenever San looked down at it with such annoyance.

If those weren't emotions than Yeosang didn't know what were. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

Yeosang wanted to cry, but it couldn't. There were no tears in its tear-ducts because it didn't have any. It's cheeks weren't turning pink with sadness because it had no blood for veins to run through. It's heart couldn't sink because it didn't have one. It chocked out a small sob, hands clutching at his shirt.

Maybe San was right. Perhaps Yeosang needed pulsing veins and meaty flesh to be able to understand the boy's feelings. But it knew that was wrong.

"That! That right there is exactly it Yeosang! I don't want to have to explain it to you, you should already know, but you don't! Because you're a robot!" He looked up with trembling eyes, "You don't know what it's like, growing to love something that'll never love you back."

"J-just stop," it whispered.

"Yeosang it fucking hurts okay! I'm just trying to protect myself, I'm tired of being hurt by the people around me."

"San, stop."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"I said stop!" Yeosang roared.

San's lips sealed shut, eyes growing large at the android's sudden outburst. He watched at Yeosang took and step forward and placed an accusing finger to his chest. It looked up at him through it's lashes, eyes the darkest blue the boy had ever seen.

"Y-you!" It hissed, "you say I'm mean! R-right now you're the one who's being a bitch!"

San gapped at him, jaw hanging low in astonishment. "Did you just swear at me?"

"Yes I did! Y-You're being mean and, and selfish! Caring only about how you feel! Maybe I'm not like you, maybe I don't understand everything but that's just who I am! I can only learn because I was born with no knowledge of anything! Have you ever considered that you're asking too much of something that can't provide it for you? I'm a medical android San, my job is to only take care of your physical health not to be a therapist or a friend. But that didn't stop me from trying, and it still doesn't!" It cried.

Yeosang dropped its hand along with its gaze, staring down at its feet with a pout.

"Why can't you see that I'm trying for you?"

San didn't know what to do. All he knew was that his attempts to spare his own heart only ended up hurting himself further, that and somehow managed to break Yeosang's.

"Yeosang I'm- "

"No. Don't say anything okay? Just, let me prove you wrong."

San gave it a look as if to ask what it meant. Yeosang only responded with a weak smile.

[...]
désolée que cette chapitre était si court. je suis si triste et je ne sais pas pour quoi. i just wanna cry and i don't know why. today and all week has just been so sad, ive been so sad

please distract me, talk to me or something idk, just help (,Ծ‸Ծ,)♡