take your time | c s c o o p

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"my dick would be way bigger than yours if i was a boy."
jodi placed the bag of jalapeño kettle cooked chips into the cart, amongst the rest of the groceries they had.

"nu uh." cooper denied, adding a bag of white cheddar cheetos to the cart as well.

"one hundred percent dude."

"i refuse to believe that."

"dude there's stone cold evidence that my dick would be bigger."
"what the fuck, where."

she turned to him and pointed to her head.
"i had a dream about it."

cooper raised an eyebrow at her. "you had a dream where you were a boy and we compared dick sizes?"

jodi shook her head and turned the cart down another aisle.

"no no. i had a dream where i was a boy, right?"
cooper nodded his head.

"and i looked down and my dick was like the size of a baseball bat."

"a baseball bat?!" cooper squealed.

"a fucking baseball bat."

"jesus christ, why the fuck were you blessed with such shlong shmeat?" cooper reached above her head and grabbed a box of rice crispy treats for the girls brother.

"i don't know man. god knew i would've been to powerful if i was a guy with shlong shmeat so he just gave me these voluptuous knockers."

cooper threw his head back as he laughed.
"do you think your dick could reach heaven?" he asked while she tapped her chin, trying to decide what flavor of fruit roll ups to get.

"oh definitely. slap jesus around with my godlike chad."
she reached out and grabbed the tattoo variety pack, giving up on picking out a specific flavor.

"jeez dude. you might get struck."
"not before jesus gets struck by this cock."

"oh my god."

"that'll be 236.76." the cashier read out the price and smiled as she watched the two race to pull out their cards, cooper with a head start since schlatt told him how quick jodi was.

the blonde pulled out his card first, making jodi swear under her breath.

"no! absolutely not!" she stomped her foot as she heard cooper giggle at her.

"how about we go half?"

they looked at each other in silence, jodi thinking it over.
"deal."

the cashier chuckled and took coopers card first.

"okay so half would be 118.38. are you okay with that?"
"yes ma'am."

after finishing up his payment, she handed him back his card and receipt and started on jodi.
"okay and same to you, 118.38. are you okay with that?" she asked again.

"absolutely." jodi responded with a big smile making cooper chuckle at her before walking around her to start bagging the food.

"okay! here is your receipt."
"thank you so much."

"no problem sweetheart."

jodi joined cooper in the bagging, snatching the item out of his hand in spite.

"you child."

"this child is about to bag this shit way faster than you old fart." she was onto her second bag, with the cashier helping as well.

"this is so unfair."

"you know for a fact you didn't win fair and square."
cooper closed the trunk door and joined jodi in the car.

"all i'm hearing is complaining."

"it was two against one!" he pointed out but jodi just rolled her eyes and plugged the auxiliary cord into her phone.

"sounds like a fun night."

cooper glared at her before snatching the cord from her phone. a loud 'pop' came from the speakers making her jump.

"you bitch." jodi's hand was in formation to deliver a painful flick but cooper wrapped his hand around hers before she could.

"no violence."

she scoffed, dropping her phone from her other hand and landing a hard flick to his arm before he could stop her.

the blonde yelped and swiftly grabbed her phone, sliding it under his thigh.
"you get it back when you stop abusing me."

"that's not fair! i told you i was gonna hurt you when i get here. i'm just keeping my promise."
she clawed at his thigh, pinching and pushing before he slid it to his other thigh which was much farther away from her grabbing hands.

"chill you fucking crab. gonna be more bruised up than i am when i bust my ass skating." he huffed and turned the key to start the car.

"now we're just gonna be sitting in a quiet ass car."
jodi crossed her arms and looked out the window beside her.

"nah we got the radio."

cooper reached out towards the radio but felt his hand get slapped away.

"don't you dare put on that god forsaken radio." she mumbled.

he looked down at his steering wheel, remembering he could turn it on from there.
she looked astonished once she heard the music.

"how the fuck-"

cooper turned the volume up way higher, bobbing his head obnoxiously to whatever song was playing.

"turn it off!" jodi covered her ears as it only seemed to get louder.

"when you call me señorita! wish i could pretend i didn't need ya!" cooper yelled as he backed out of the parking spot.

"why the fuck do you know the words?!"