The Designer and the Model

Chapter 28 - Betrayal

I was shot in the head. Feeling swollen and quickly needing to puke.

I wasn't going to make it.

Sprinting from the bed I scampered on my hands and knees to the toilet after slipping on the tiles.

The pain...

Ribs aching from puking my guts up, I flushed with my head not ready to leave the bowl.

"Charlotte."

Hair out of the way I faced the water. Round 2 was much worse, but I wasn't alone.

I tried saying I was sorry but for a long time it was muffled out by the disgusting slosh of my vomit. Lu tied my hair up and left. Returning I could smell something nice and felt a bit better as she held a heated towel under my shirt against my back. Soothing the ache I flushed again this time ready to look away from the wreaking toilet.

Lucinda ran me a bath as I leaned against it.

The oils and flowers she put in it had my nausea at ease but in the absents of my aching pain in the hot water, I felt the burn of guilt as it came back to me.

Renèe.

"Another?"

"What?"

"I said does that feel better?" Lucinda asked before sitting beside the deep tub.

"I appreciate it, Lucinda. I'm really sorry you had to deal with that-" she waved away my worries and mindfully stroked the water as I stared at her hating myself.

"I didn't mean to drink that much."

"Well it happens," she spoke handing me a toothbrush and toothpaste, speaking as I cleaned out my disgusting mouth, "I've been thinking... perhaps I should speak better to Renèe. She's been doing an outstanding job and after all, she is your friend. I'm happy you found that I've known you've needed someone like her for a while. Me being rude or blunt to her could cause problems between the both of you as I'm sure if you and she are close she'll tell you everything. If that's the case I doubt you'll want to be in a position where she is speaking badly of me to you-" with her checking glance, I confirmed with a nod as I slowly blushed, now feeling a different kind of sick.

"I'll try, for you Charlotte." With her head bowed I washed out my mouth and hugged her.

She cringed and groaned.

Soaking her Versace robe I watched as she uncomfortably got out of it. She wouldn't take my apologies and really sweetly reassured me as she knelt in her bra and underwear beside the tub.

Hugging her I wished with all my being that Lucinda would never know how badly I betrayed her. Before I knew it I was quietly sobbing in her arms as her skin slid with drips as I held her with my wet body.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so fucking sorry, I love you more than you'll ever know please please please forgive me-" I begged mentally as I lied away my tears to Lucinda.

The rest of the weekend she was just absolutely amazing to me. Every second and every sweet kiss of it I knew I didn't deserve. Lucinda went above and beyond to show me she cared about me. It was mentally crippling.

I needed to talk to someone and when I went to see dad it all came spewing out of me. Not interrupting once he sat with me in the kitchen and listened. I knew I couldn't bring up Lucinda and just simply named her my partner, mentioning her and Renèe as people that worked with me.

"Hon..." I saw him debating on what he was going to say but I couldn't tell if the look on his face was that of disappointment or judgment, "you have to tell your boyfriend. You. Can. Not. Lie. To him. If you really do love him and only want him then you must do it. If you just brush it under the rug and tell yourself it didn't happen you'll either get put on the spot by the other guy at some point or you'll just end up hating yourself and deflecting it onto your boyfriend. By what you've told me he's pretty good to you and cares an awful lot so he doesn't deserve that. You'll break him down and do more damage than you have already. Charlotte I'm grateful you came to me, come here-" he pulled the heaping mess I was into his protective arms "you're a good girl and mistakes do unfortunately happen at the worst and best of times. We only have one life, my beautiful girl. I've come to realize that after I got out of the dark place I was in and your mum left us. You have to keep what's important close to you and really manage your relationships, if you think he is your future then you have to put in 100%, or the life you want will just fade away. Come on sit up" I raised my head and he pushed back my tear-wet bangs from my face with his large hands taking up most of my head, "wipe your eyes, be a better woman, and face what you have done. I'm your father and I'll always, always be here for you. So if things get tough which they probably will, just do what you have done today and come to me. Okay?"