PS. I Still Love You

Chapter 96: The Letter and Hope

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Saturday, February 16, 1969...
Ponyboy's P.O.V

I got home in the morning. I had slept over at Soda and Sandy's house since they were gone and Darry and Honey were doing some special. I haven't seen rose in a long time. And I knew I had to talk to her. I got to my room and opened the door. I know I messed up.

No one talked to me unless it was for the basic things like. "Can you throw the trash? Do that dishes please. Pass the salt. Get ready for school you're gonna be late. Do your homework." And honestly, I don't blame them at all. It's my fault that we're like this. I walked to the other side of my bed next to the window and found a paper airplane with a letter. A typical thing of Rose. I slightly smiled and opened the letter.

"Dear Ponyboy,

In a day like this where I usually think 'today will be the least expected day'  We hace crossed paths but you decided to look at those blue, green eyes that now walk next to you. Since the moment that I met you, summing up in quiet times. I swear I never told anyone that we have the world record of loving eachother. That's why I waited with my face soaked with tears that you'd come to me with roses. A thousand roses just for me. Because you know I love those types of things despite how stupid they might seem."

I flipped the page over.

"And it still seems like a lie that my life escapes. Imagining that you'd come back, and that you'd cross my path. Where every day, every afternoon as always hope tells me, 'stay calm and maybe this time.' Escaping a night with a yawn towards the sun, you asked me to give you a kiss. With how cheap they come mi amor, what does it take you to shut me up with one of those? Two months passed and all of the sudden you say 'goodbye, it was a blessing to be with you." I flipped to the next page.

"Then I stood there with a hand in my heart and the other on excuses that even you didn't understand. And yet I still waited with my face soaked in tears that you'd come with roses. Just a thousand of them. Because like I said before, you know I like those types of things no matter how stupid they seem. And my life is escaping as I'm waiting, imagining that we'll cross paths again, where with every new morning, my hope gets reset. And I start to think that true love is only in the first love. And I start suspecting that everyone else is just there to forget."

I looked up. God. I really did hurt her. I was only asking for a day or two to think about what I can do to help her. And about Cathy walking with me, she was trying to calm me down and tell me it was all gonna be okay. I felt so stupid, mad at myself. I was scared. Scared that in the moment I would agree to it and it would all be okay and then later it would turn into us getting a divorce or never getting married or me leaving. Or her leaving. I wanted this to work. I have to find her. I went to her house and she wasn't there. She probably went to Johnny's.

-
I arrived at Johnny's house. I walked here and so did she since her car was still at her house. It was two blocks either way. I knocked on the door. "What do you want?" Johnny asked. He was still pretty mad at me. Don't blame him. "I need to talk to Rose." I said. "She's not here." He answer. "C'mon Johnny. I know you're mad at me but I really need to talk to her." I said. "I said she's not here. Check her house or something." "I already did. She's not there. Her car is parked there." He looked at me. "If anything happened to her I swear I will kill you." He said. We both rushed out. We looked all over and the only place we hadn't checked was the hospital. "Maybe she has a shift." Johnny said.