PS. I Still Love You

Chap 99: Say You Wont Let Go

Tuesday, February 18, 1969...

When I woke up, it was early in the morning. I was alone in bed, which seemed odd but I shook it away. I began feeling my stomach turn. I begged for the feeling to go away but it just grew. It grew to the point where I found myself running to the bathroom and getting down to my knees infront of the toilet, throwing up.

I cried. I hate this. I'm so miserable. And although it was my morning sickness I also knew it was stress. Of not knowing how I was going to raise this baby. I threw up again and as I did. I felt someone grab my hair and rub my back in circles. I couldn't help but cry.  "Hey, it's okay. Let it all out." Ponyboy said. I threw up again and he reached over for a towel. I sighed deeply. Sign that I was done throwing up. He wiped my mouth and looked at me.  "What's wrong?" "Just morning sicness." I said. "It's more than that." He said. "I just don't know what to do." I said he looked at me.

"I met you when I was young. You made me a better person. You make me feel as though I'm enough. I'll hold your hair back when you're throwing up. Then when you slowly smile, I'll pull you closer to my chest. You wanted me to leave earlier so you could clean the kitchen but I said I already told you, I think you should get some rest. I knew I loved you then, but I never knew. Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go." He paused.

"I know I needed you, but I never showed. But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old. And I hope you won't let go. I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed, I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your bed. And I'll take the kids to school, and wave them goodbye. And I'll thank the stars for that night. I'm so in Love with you. And I hope you know. Darling your love is more than worth its eight in gold. We've come so far princess, look how we've grown. And I wanna stag with you until we're grey and old." He said.

I looked at him. "Do you mean all of that?" I asked. He looked at me and kissed my lips. "Of course I do." He said as he picked me up. Bridal style. And layed me in bed. Covering me with the sheets. He sat on the chair in the room and grabbed a blanket. "Come lay here with me." I said. He hesitated at first. "But you need the rest and I'll bother you." He said. I shook my head and he layed down. "What are we gonna do?" I asked. "Well, we could switch days. You know, one day I'm home and you go to work and the next day you're home and I go to school. Or we could try calling your grandma and see if she picks up, we can tell her to come here." He said. "I don't have her number and it's not written anywhere." I said.

"Well, lucky for you, my parents wrote it down. We can call her tomorrow if you want." He said. I looked at him. "Thank you. For staying" I said. "Of course. That's my kid too. But he better look like you." He smiled. I laughed.

[some parts are inspired by James Arthur's song, Say You Won't Let Go]