Eyes Closed

53 ; Three words

October 18, 2018

Step forward.

That was the first thing I did when Tzuyu took a small step towards me as she croaked out her esoteric nickname for me. And then another step towards me but realizing that this wasn't supposed to happen- that her and I ended a long time ago, I quickly took a step back.

She frowned as tears made its way on the corner of her eyes. What am I doing ? I asked myself as I shake my head to myself. Am I supposed to be in her arms right now or should I go against what my heart says?

"You came back," she croaked out with the saddest pair of green eyes that not even I saw in her when her mom passed away.

I looked down. I can't continue seeing her like this. I can't get attached only for my heart to get broken once again. There were a lot of given reasons why we would never work out. Maybe she found me as her remedy, but I was just a temporary remedy she needed to ease the temporary pain she was experiencing. I didn't even like to see it this way but maybe Ashley can give her the permanent remedy she badly needed. After all they're both ready to walk down the aisle and spend the rest of their lives with each other.

I was then cut off when a soft warm hand lifted my chin up, making me look directly at the person's eyes. I was totally accepting my defeat and even battling with myself that I didn't realize that Tzuyu had approached me.

So close. She's so close, to me- to my heart.

I didn't even know that the color brown can go with green, that brown and green can radiate too much love and affection even with the countless minutes and sorrowful months that had bypassed us without seeing and hearing from each other.

"You came back," she whispered only intending for me to hear. I tried to look pass her shoulders to see Momo and Lukard's reactions but failing to no avail.

I shook my head, looking at her lips. Oh, how I wish they were pressed against mine. An unwanted picture flashed through my mind, imagining to whom Tzuyu's lips were pressed on last night. Tzuyu and that blondie making out brought out a feeling of uneasiness in my stomach and chest.

I then pulled away slowly, this is messed up. "I can't do this," I whispered back as I removed her hand on my chin, looking down on my shoes.

"Why not?" She asked, intertwining the hand that I used to remove her hand from my chin. She stepped closer to me, our bodies pressed against each other completely while her free hand run through my back and around my waist.

"Tzuyu," I sadly said. "I think it's best if you let go of me," I added, hoping for her to not let go. Hold me closer, please .

"I don't want to," I heard her say in the tiniest and most vulnerable voice she has ever let out. "Let me," she paused, looking at my lips. "Let me hold you for a little while longer,"

"Why?" I whispered, looking directly at her eyes with courage. "Why are you doing this? Why now when you're getting married?"

She didn't answer but gritted her teeth, probably out of annoyance. I thought she changed? I thought her behaviors were altered? What now?

I was waiting for her to push me away or to slap me or anything physical like that. After all it's what she did best when she gets pissed off of me. But I guess you have to expect the unexpected, huh? She suddenly pulled my head towards hers, making our lips mash together perfectly.

I can't help but moan when our lips started moving in sync.

I abruptly ran my hands on her back and started tugging on her loose hair as her right hand kept its place on the back of my head while her other hand was tightly placed on my hip, lightly caressing.

All I remember was hearing a loud gasp from Momo before I was brought back to reality. I pulled away from Tzuyu, slapping her on her left cheek in total surprise. She stood there without any expressions in her face, standing still and looking at the marbled floor.

I then place my right hand on my mouth in shock of my action, regret dominating my heart for hurting her. "I- I.." I try to let out but she stop me by shaking her head and smiling humorlessly.

She then let out a sigh. "This is it I guess," she looked me in the eye. "This is the part where we finally drift apart,"

"Tzuyu," I whimpered, taking a step towards her, lifting my right hand slowly towards her face and started caressing when she did not flinch.

"I get it, okay?" She tried hiding the pain away but I knew her too well. "I get the fact that we will never be together. That we would never be friends at least,"

"I.. I can't be just friends with you Tzuyu," I honestly said. "I want more, you know that..."

"You do?" She asked vulnerable, pushing her cheek further to my hand as if she was craving for my touch.

"I do. But you're getting tied down to someone not me. I want you to be happy,"

"I'll be happy with you! I am happy now,"

I shook my head. "How about Ashley? I can't destroy what you and her have,"

"But I don't even like her! I don't even love her,"

"Then why are you marrying her?!" I asked, raising my voice. So Tzuyu's behavior was altered and it was replaced with stupidity ? I asked myself sarcastically.

"I can't tell you why," she whispered.

I then rolled my eyes, huffing in annoyance. "I guess you're right then," I paused, gritting my teeth. "This is the part where we finally drift apart!" I added firmly.

I heard her whimper to herself.

"Goodbye, Tzuyu!" I said loudly before walking away from her. I looked at Momo and Lukard who were both watching us with teary eyes and puffy cheeks before shrugging at them. I don't know what to do anymore, my jobs done here, as if telling them that.

"Way- wait, Sanny, please.. Don't leave me," Tzuyu sobbed out, making me stop dead in my tracks. "Please, don't go... Do- don't leave me, please. It hu- hurts,"

I slowly turned around to face her, only for my heart to break in pieces as I witness her genuinely crying in misery. Her shoulders and hand trembling while tears as much as the Niagara Falls were streaming down her cheeks.

"Please?" She whimpered out, looking at me with too much sorrow.

My knees became weaker and my walls crumbled down, and suddenly my younger self went back running towards her and pulling her in a tight hug. I let her cry her heart out as she held onto me as if I was the oxygen she needed to survive.

I pulled her to one of the recliners in front of Momo and Lukard who were both crying at the scene in front of them. I then sat down and pulled her in my lap, cradling her like a baby who needed love and care.

She sat on my lap sideways. My right arm snaking around her waist while the other ended up on her back to caress it to show that I was with her. Her head laid down on my shoulder as she sobbed out, pleading for me to not go.

"I love you, Sanny," she said out of nowhere, her tears drying.

My heart completely stopped beating. Maybe she didn't mean it. After all, her mind's probably clogged up as of the moment.

"Sanny?" She said, hiccuping after.

"Yes?" I shakily asked.

"I love you," she raised her head up, looking at me. "I mean it,"

Just then I realized that this three words she just blurted out weren't empty. She meant it. She really does love me.

I smiled at her in happiness. I still got chance after all.

I then tested the water and started leaning in towards her. When our lips pressed, I knew to myself that love conquers all. We can be together no matter what or who stops us.

Tzuyu pulled away only to peck my lips once more and then again and again and again and again and again and again.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

Lukard, Momo, Tzuyu and I looked at where the door was, seeing an angry Ashley glaring right at Tzuyu and I.

Well, shit.