Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 4 Episode 62: Lost in Triangulation

Fade in to Sarge in the Gulch

Sarge:    Alright dirtbags, after the third round of the competition, it's still anyone's contest.

Donut: Yeahah, burn wrench, anyone includes me! Hahah.

Sarge:    Donut was leading after the obstacle course, and talent contest.

Donut: Awesome. Whodihoo!

Sarge:    But then the mysterious skull pulled ahead during the question and answer session.

Donut: That doesn't seem physically possible.

Sarge:    So the standings are the skull, Donut, and in third the wrench. Which is the current crowd favourite.

Cut to the warthog with pro-wrench propaganda on it

Warthog: (beep beep beep)

Grif: Haha, maybe the skull will be your new sidekick. Hey Sarge, how can I kiss your ass if I don't have any lips?

Sarge:    And in last place Grif.

Grif: What? I thought I was ineligible.

Sarge:    Ineligible to win, dead man. Luckily there's no chance of that happening since the last round is the evening-wear competition.

Donut: Whohoa, you're in trouble now skull.

Grif: Then can I quit?

Sarge:    Course not, only eligible contestants can withdraw from the competition.

Grif: (sigh)

Sarge:    I guess you'll just have to settle for fifth place turdbelly.

Grif: Fifth place? Should I even ask who's in fourth?

Sarge:    I'm reserving fourth place for any late entries, who would obviously be better than you. Such as a turd, or a turd farmer.

Cut to Church talking to Gary

Church: Hey Gary, is there any way that you could translate what this big alien is saying to us?

Gary: no

Church: Aw come on man, isn't this one of the aliens that built you?

Gary:    yes, but i do not know much about those creatures. i was only programmed with knowledge of the shisnos. i mean you.

Church: Yeah listen man, that word is really startin' to bug me a little bit.

Gary:    you did not even know what it meant until i told you.

Church: I know but you just say it so much.

Gary: i only say shisno in context. like when talking to a shisno or about a shisno. i think i see what you mean shisno.

Church: So you'll stop.

Gary: inter-species prejudices take a long time to overcome. but i will try.

Church: Thanks.

Gary:    luckily, i am not lazy like a shisno.

Church: Yeah it's pretty clear you mean to give this your best effort.

Gary: i think the important thing is that i am trying.

Cut to Church wandering the halls or something

Tucker: Okay. Church, is trying to get a translator. So that we can talk to each other.

Church: Tucker, the enormous alien doesn't speak our language, speaking slowly is not gonna help.