Breathing Blues

Ciao

25 -

I hate my rubbish self, I'm swearing by the old gods and the new. You're not in games of thrones for gods sake, Tara Vaid.

I unlocked door and swung it open, Darshan?

At 12?

What's wrong now?

"Why are you crying Tara?", Darshan asked worriedly, in a very weird way.

Something is wrong.

"Oh nothing, I was rewatching GOT. Robb Stark died, that fucking heinous Frey", I wiped my teary eyes, making a more lookable face.

"Oh", left his mouth.

"He--", he cut me, "shut up", he straightaway said and I sealed my lips.

Well, okay!

What did I do to have him behave like this? As much as I remember, nothing.

"Why did you give me that letter?", he asked me.

Ah, the letter--wait--did I write something I shouldn't had. I don't know, I've no idea what I wrote in the first place. I completely forgot about it.

"Because it was your birt...hday?", I let my voice trail off. "You didn't like it? Did I say something offensive?", I shot one after another.

"No...yes, but why this?", he asked, softly.

Because I think I told that much in that letter, as much as I can recall. My memory is shit.

I stayed shut.

He looked non readable and I was too emotionally invested in Robb's death to handle this one.

"Um, because you deserved it?", I guessed.

"You give a person a letter like this. I told you right, you make a person feel too much loved and cared for they want it more. What's maitaing gap in this?", Darshan asked and I thought about when did he tell me this.

I was absentmindedly thinking when he came closer to me, really close and I didn't expected him to kiss me.

I wanted it after I've had a taste of it but there was something off about it. Not that he didn't kiss like a great kisser - he did kissed greatly and not that I didn't want it but I definitely couldn't allow myself to give it back in.

I placed a hand on his chest, parting my lips from his.

"No, Raval. Nope", I shook my head, our forehead collided. "You're, I'm...I just made friends with Dhriti. I can't do this to her. I already feel like a fucking duck out of guilt. Don't make it worse", I softly let out, it was a whisper. "I've no idea what made you do this but--", he cut me short, "--do you think I am not aware of the fucking consequences of this?", he said loudly.

"Calm down now, will you?", I rested my hands on his shoulders.

He's a mess.

What's wrong with him today?

"I don't want to calm down, damn it. I don't. You're not allowed to ask me to calm down and to act like the most understanding person to live and then tell me how wrong it is", Darshan looked at me in the eyes.

"Hold that thought, the most understanding person to live...are you out of your head? I'm like, I despise and do not understand half the things people do and people hate me in college for that", I scoffed, realizing this was not the time to say this.

"Vaid, I don't want to ruin this friendship but I want to be with you now, right now", I could feel his hand on my waist and the pit of my stomach filling with the insatiable feeling.