Breathing Blues

He Makes Me Feel What The Sky Does

44 -

The next morning was something like we were up and I wasn't talking to Darshan. I stood in front of the mirror, doing my eyeliner.

He eyed me sitting on the bed and well in my defence, I was mad at him.

My stomach growled, I'll never understand my stomach, my hunger and my relationship with food.

I had this super weird eating condition called ARFID. When you talk people about eating problems, they say oh you've anorexia where you just DON'T eat because you like looking pale and you're obsessed with it.

It's like Avoidant/Restrictive food intake disorder which clearly explains it. I've picky food habits, I sometimes don't want to eat certain thing even when I was excited about it five minutes back. Life is so weird just like my body and it's disorders.

For example, imagine you love kashewes and you have eaten it all your life but one day your body decides otherwise and boom you've an allergy with kashewes just like that. Weird.

I don't think scientists can explain our entire body and it's behavior which is super weird.

I colored the wing I just made and he eyed me while I looked at him through the mirror.

"I can't do this, what did I do?", Darshan asked, irritatedly.

"Weren't you flirting with someone else last night IN FRONT OF your woman, weren't you?", I got up, picking my bag up as I'd kept all the clothes in the hotel wardrobe.

"God, for the room", Darshan justified.

"Say whatever you want to say, I don't give a fuck", I walked out followed by Darshan.

"So, you'll spend all the day making a screwed up face, haa", Darshan commented.

"Is it good if I flirt with Meet? Since he and I, we share a very good spiritual state of flirting", I looked at him.

"But Meet's my friend", Darshan retorted.

"So?", I raised a brow. "I'll spend the day enjoying by the way, just without you", I added.

"I think you're overreacting Vaid! What do you want me to do, write a love letter from my blood", Darshan said, as I walked out of the corridor.

"Yeah, I don't...I don't think you've the guts for it really", I mocked and I assumed it'll bruise his ego bad but he deserved it.

With him, it was like you were always in a state of getting an opinion on. That you've some standard to maintain and being the person I'm, it's hard for me to fucking accept it but I'm accepting it because I was anxious, so much. Every moment.

I loved him just like Icarus loved dreams but I couldn't figure this out and it was getting frustrating.

So, I was venting not about just the flirting but actually the way he is, which is super messed up. I so wanted to be in a room with my laptop and just write something in order to compliment how I feel right now but even if I were, I don't think I can frame sentences.

"Okay, fuck you! But, can we save this for later and focus on this?", he asked me, gesturing vaguely.

"What place is this again?", I questioned.

"Igatpuri, its fascinating. You just see, so I've pretty much 14 or 15 things to do and I think we'll cover it", he said and I shrugged.

So, we hopped on the bike and Darshan knew his way around as he already had a conversation with one of the hotel staff about this while I was showering but as I wasn't talking to him I didn't asked him anything.