Breathing Blues

End Of It

29 -

I rang the doorbell hard, looking into my phone at the same time.

"Out of everyone in the world I hate you the most", Hardik commented and I went in.

"Mutual feelings", I said out loud, clicking send.

I shoved my phone inside my pocket, looking over, at the gang working and talking and having fun as usual.

"Where did uncle go?", I asked looking around.

"He left a couple of days back", Dhruwal told me. "You wanted to meet him?", he asked.

"Like, uh not as in particularly but Darshan mentioned him so...", I let my voice trail off.

Darshan was so scared that he dropped me at 4:30! This is probably the reason he called me after so many days as his dad left.

Jerk.

I looked at the kitchen, taking steps when my body became still as I glanced into Darshan's room. The door was half open. I stood there looking at Darshan and Dhriti talking, I couldn't hear obviously but I still looked.

Dhriti stood on her toes, grabbing him into a kiss and I looked blankly. He gave in.

He did?

Obviously, he would.

I'm the other woman. She's the girlfriend. I'll always be...why is it getting so sentimental?

I didn't notice I was staring for too long. Darshan looked at me, followed by Dhriti and I passed them a quick smile storming to the bathroom and closing it behind me.

I shut the pot seat, sitting down, rubbing my face with my hands.

Ugh.

It was hurting and it was hurting bad. I wanted to grab his hand, walk him to the airport, get in a flight, kiss fiercely and begone. None of this was practical but I was thinking about it.

I didn't feel good at all. It was...I was feeling jealous and weird and I don't know this is so shitty. I was feeling, a feeling where you're heavy and you can't put it in words.

I walked out after a minute of catching my breath till the sofa and sat with everyone.

He didn't tell me she'd be here?

As we talked about something I didn't give two shits about my phone buzzed.

Raval: I'm sorry. I didn't knew she'd be here. It was meant to be a surprise otherwise I wouldn't have invited you?

Me: Not like I hate her, dude. It's alright! No hard feelings.

Raval: no hard feelings???

Me: absolutely

Raval: oh cool

Me: yeah

I looked up at him and he pushed a sarcastic smile at me. I ignored. I knew, I knew I was in a mess I wouldn't be able to come out of.

I was here in his house, looking at him, laughing and talking. I looked at Dhriti who was smiling too but I wasn't feeling bad for her, not at all! I looked around at his world and recalled mine in my head. Something in me peculiarly empty.

I silently stood up, no one noticed as I walked out before picking my bag up. I took the stairs instead of the lift, just running.

I'm always running. Sometimes to save myself from people and sometimes to save people from me. Either way, it's always me.