Loving an Idol • Liu Yuxin and Kong Xueer FF

23

Marco came back with a smile. I can't deny that her fashion senses were dope; hair stucked in a beanie, fitted ripped jeans and white men's shirt. It suits her, she's cute.

"So, why did Xin called?", Keran asked as soon as Marco had taken her seat.

"Xin will be back tomorrow but...", silence. I was focused to what could be the next words. I can't refute the fact that Xin's arrival excites me; I---I miss her. "She'll be with Esther. I think they're together again?", and it shattered everything. I felt the tingling sensation inside my heart as it was falling into pieces.

Why would such things hurt me — when I don't even care in the first place?

Huh funny Snow, funny.

"Woah? That's a good news!", Keran replied. Huh, good news? — that's the worst news I've ever heard.

I'm enraged for believing every single thing she had said that night;
enraged for being convinced that she'd somehow liked me in my own little way;
enraged for how I could no longer understand myself because of her.

"Let's move to the living room.", Alexa suggested; she was currently fixing the plates as if she was some kind of a trained personnel from a restaurant. I'd never saw her to be this way cause she often spend her time on school or some other responsibilities. I helped Alexa on cleaning the table and both Keran and Marco proceeded to the living room.

As I lifted the last plate which was Marco's, I'd noticed a keychain. It's actually a picture being held as a chain; a portrait of a girl with Marco. Uhmm it's odd, it somehow felt weird. Just as I was planning to take the chain, Marco had entered the kitchen.

"Oh it's my sister!", Marco yelled. I withdrew my hand and she'd quickly grabbed it from the table.

"I didn't know that you had a sister.", I mumbled.

"Ah yeah", she replied and left abruptly. Well that was kinda unusual; like something was off. It felt undeniably inapt.

"Are you okay Snow?", Alexa asked.

"Yeah, just gonna go to the living room.", I replied.

I can hear their vocals in between their loud laughters from the hallway; they were both speaking in Mandarin and I couldn't understand a thing. The room was put into silence as I sat on the opposite side of the sofa.

"Can I date you Ms. Rivas?", Marco suddenly asked. I don't know, I just---dont feel like it. Uhmm, this is so difficult to handle. How can I say no to something that I don't wanna deal with, tell me how!

Keran and Marco exchanged glances. They're both giving me an awkward feeling — The feeling of being stab behind. It was like they're having a communication telepathically; with the use of their eyes.

It took myself minutes to recover from being uncomfortable, before I regain my confidence back. I want to say no... I just don't wanna do it.

Well you see, I'm fully aware of her fanbase, I know tons of people will be infuriated with me; for the mere reason that Marco likes me. How much more if I dumped Marco, right?

I get it: she's cute, she's popular, she's talented — yeah, basically she's a full packaged lover. Anyone would have fall for her but you know, I can't force my heart to feel the same way, to have the same feelings; I can't choose who I wanna be with, it's the human's heart job to do so: I can't convince all things to be with my part — You will never have to force anything that's truly meant to be.

"I have a lot to do so I don't really know if I could...", Marco blocked my voice with — "I'm capable of helping you Snow.", she offered. I was going to refuse when —

"Let her help you Snow, I'll be gone today.", Alexa barged in, drying her hands with a towel.

I --- I have no any other choice but to say "Yes", Marco beamed with pleasure.

An hour had passed and I was in her car. It's eerily quiet, all I could hear was the air conditiener, buzzing lightly: releasing some cold breathe of air. Do you ever had the feeling of being discomfited with someone? — an awkward situation that is unbearable. Ever since Marco had started with this infatuation thingy, all I wanna do is to stay away as far as possible. I'm not being rude, it's not being immature; I know I'm not on her level but this is how I feel.

"You wanna eat?", Marco asked that had broken the silence.

"Yeah", I answered.

We stop by a food store, not so far from the campus. It's a nice place: warm and cozy. A bakery filled with fresh from the oven pastries. Rounded tables and wooden floors, vibrant colorful roses. The aroma of coffee had invaded the whole area. This is probably the best place to write some books or atleast read one. It's like Starbucks but more vintage and definitely better.

Marco had accompanied me to a lovely seat beside the window, it had great views of the city beyond the glasses. Tall buildings that had blocked the beautiful clouds; traffic that stresses each and everyone on the road. Though the city was a total chaos, the place had brightened my mood, I bet even the most discombobulated one would feel mutual.

Marco came back with a tray of goodies; It was well made from my eyeshot. Brown, almost golden bread that was probably cooked perfectly. A strawberry jam with ofcourse, real strawberries. With no hesitation, I dived in as soon as the tray got settled on the table.

Infairness, the food had eased my mind.

"You're hungry huh.", Marco laughed.

"Yes", I answered.

The ambiance of the place is perfect but it somehow still gloomy; Like it was strangely not enough; something's really missing and my intellects are not sure on whether it was a person or some kind of things.

I was eating peacefully when Marco's phone had lit up. I can't help but to gaze at her phone, kinda rude but as soon as my vision had focused. I had realized that her wallpaper was with her sister; not exactly the identical photo from the chain but the same person. It's normal; loving a family should be always one's paramount. However, my mind finds it peculiar, like something was unusual, something was wrong. Marco had kept her phone in her pocket when she'd noticed my interest on the screen.

"So did you like the food?", she asked.

"Yes, it's good!", she smiled at me as she slightly caresses my cheek. Now this was uncomfortable enough and I was taken aback. Marco winced with my reaction but she tried to be cool and withdrew her hand.

"Now, when can I make you mine Ms. Rivas?", uhmm.

Should I tell her?