Loving an Idol • Liu Yuxin and Kong Xueer FF

36

Marco dropped me off by my apartment after the sun had set. I really had a great time with her; she actually shown and introduced Gia, which is her long time girlfriend.

They're cute, and I wouldn't; in a million years – destroy their bond. Marco confessed that she just wants to prove herself on Keran; and even before she had Gia. They always play some sort of games on females of their bet. I got frustrated when I heard this, cause woman are not toys. 'Never play games with someone's heart' – she said that it won't happen again; Marco learned her lesson.

Alexa wasn't home yet when I'd arrived. The lights were all close and I needed Marco's company a while ago; Liu Yuxin's house was hella creepy so I closed all the curtains. Marco told me, that tomorrow will be Xin's final day in the hospital. The doctors might discharge Liu Yuxin, since she was fine and stable.

I prepared dinner, so Alexa wouldn't have to; I need to talk to her cause I want to clarify things. The Charity Ball: she invited Esther, Marco and Keran, all of them were outsiders. It's just funny; like I'm her best friend and I study in UCH, but fuck? – I didn't know about this ball and no one informed me! It sucks when you're being left behind by people you considered important.

I cooked Lasagna since I'm watching Garfield, I love this movie. I also made some lemon juice paired with mini muffins. The muffins are store-bought by the way; I don't know how to bake and the lasagnas were pre-made.

Alexa came home by the middle of the movie. She looks exhausted yet undeniably happy, odd.

"Hey!", I greeted.

"Hi, I smell Lasagna.", she moved towards my direction.

"Uhmm can I ask you something?", I spoke while preparing the dishes on the table. "Why uhmm --- why didn't you tell me about the Ball? – Charity Ball?", she stumbled back but had quickly took ahold of herself.

"Oh I must've forgotten about it. I'm sorry!"

"But you didn't forget to inform Esther huh.", I smiled.

I know Alexa too well, that I could already tell if she's lying or not. What is happening? – Marco's cheating plan and now, Alexa's betrayal? – this might sound such an immature issue, but being uninvited in a particular event is painful. I can't imagine the thought of being forgotten by my own best friend, who lives with me and sees me every single day.

"Soooo?", I mumbled.

"Let me explain, but we're going to eat first.", I resumed with my task and Alexa went upstairs to settle her bags.

I sat on the dining chair, waiting for Alexa patiently. I was paranoid and I could feel my hands trembling from under the table. I don't know why this freak me out so much; maybe I shouldn't attend the ball after all.

Alexa sat on the opposite side, parallel to my chair. "Okay, I'll tell you everything now."

I took deep a breath and listened. "Esther's family is the main sponsor of this event. They provided the most funds for this Charity Ball. Sadly, Esther excluded you on the list of expected guests.", her eyes glistened as tears formed underneath them. "I tried to include you. I wrote your name but Esther got infuriated. I didn't tell you as I don't wanna hurt you Snow, and I'm still figuring out how could I get you in the party.", damn Esther Yu.

"Don't worry, just enjoy the party. I won't go!", this is so fucking sad.

"I'll figure this out.", Alexa stated as she took a bite out of the muffin. "These are delicious, thanks for the dinner Snow.", I faked a smile and continue to dig on my food.

It's painful, knowing that I can't do anything to be with them, or at least with Xin.

"So when is this uhmm ball? — and where would it happen?", I asked.

"On Thursday, Florida Arena."

"This Thursday Alexa?"

"Yes", that's like 2 days from now.

I badly want to go, but I know that I can't; It's my school, how can an outsider exclude their own student from being a participant.

I didn't finish my meal as I'm not in the mood to do so – I actually took my pillows and blanket from my bed, I'd decided that I'm gonna sleep on the empty room beside our shared one. This used to be Alexa's room, so it was still fully furnished. A queen sized bed and a walk in closet. There's also an air-conditioner, I hope it still works though! We haven't used it for months already and I'm kinda afraid that it won't work anymore.

I changed into my pajamas and locked the door behind me, but then – the bear. I forgot to bring the bear with me! I went into the other room to fetch the bear on my bed. It's the little white bear, Liu Yuxin gave me, it's important!

"You're not sleeping here?", Alexa muttered as I past by onto her in the hallway.

"Tomorrow, I just need time for myself.", I said, resuming my steps without her permission or any statements regarding my intentions on her room. It was still Alexa's, but she's on my room so I didn't bother to tell her.

I jumped on the bed as soon as I'd entered the room. The room temperature was too hot so I turned on the ac. Oh it still works!

I lie down on the bed and surfed my way into the internet.

'Y'ALL SHOULD STREAM 'HOW YOU LIKE THAT' AND 'STAY GOLD', uhmm and also 'BEATHOLIC'!

I can't sleep so I streamed both BP and BTS' music videos. They slay as usual, I also watched Liu Yuxin's Beatholic. God, her visuals are out of this world. Ironic how they made the mv as a tribute – after Liu Yuxin's elimination – yet she won the title as the center of THEXNINE.

I still can't believe that I got the chance to meet 3 members of the THEXNINE, feat. Lin Fan.

Up until now, the kiss with Xin was all fictional to my mere being, I can't process the fact that I may stand a chance with her. I never expected to love an Idol, I mean — I loved her before; but not on romantic terms. I was just a simple fangirl back then...

Hmmm forget about Esther Yu, I'll go to the ball! I will have to go to school tomorrow, so I can settle everything. 'Why cry on little things, when you can gate crash' (winks)