Loving an Idol • Liu Yuxin and Kong Xueer FF

32

"I love you", I stumble back as I heard Liu Yuxin's voice. I... have no words; The light have illuminated her facial features – revealing her perfect eyes that sparkle like a diamond and lips... peachy without any tints. She was truly blessed by good looks and talent, sometimes I wonder to myself – Is Yuxin even real?

"You're joking, right?", I said as I moved backwards – The train of thoughts about betrayal had came to mind. What about Esther? Marco? – Am I even in love?

"No", "Are you blind? – Are you numb from all my actions Snow? – Are you avoiding everything that's completely related to me?", it all made sense now. I was not played yet I acted like a victim. "You will never know what kind of hell I felt the moment you told everyone... that you want Marco as your girlfriend.", I swallowed all the wrongful acts of my past and had instantly regret all my life decisions. Now I'm torn between Liu Yuxin and Lin Fan. "I tried my best to fight all my emotions as I wanted to keep you close. But – the more I hide my feelings for you, the more I fall for you.", She laughed; yet it was obviously full of pain.

"You should've told me!", I said.

"I told you!", "I even acted like one. I sent you little hints and I've done so much for you.", her voice cracked as she yelled deafeningly. Xin's tender voice had echoed through the walls – though she was shouting; it still feels like a lullaby to me.

"I'm sorry", I said as I shook my head slowly.

"It's okay, nevermind.", Xin mumbled. She turned her back on me; now I was left confused. Wtf? – was that some kind of a joke... or prank? – I don't understand.

"Ohhh, are you playing with me or something?", I yelled while she's continuously walking the pavement towards the lounge. "Okay Ms. Liu, if this was some sort of a revenge or malevolence; you won. It hurts!", my tears fell from the pain; I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. I turned my back on the opposite side, facing the direction of the restroom.

I want to go home; I want to be in deep sleep, I want to forget everything!

The recurrent rainfall was obnoxious. It'll stop momentarily, but will come back with heavy rain showers. The flood have already subsided but the rain had emerged again. I stepped outside of the building, totally aware that I could be: soaked in water and flashed with sickness. I don't care anymore, all I wanted was to escape; Escape the reality of how unfortunate I am – especially on love.

The rain had poured even more, good. It will probably stop soon, don't worry. The darkness have enveloped my body; where was the gate again?

I was about to make a quick run for the sheds when someone yanked the back of my blouse. "Are you making yourself sick?", her voice muffled over the rain.

"I've heard that before and I will not fall for it this time!", I shouted as I sustained my pace against the storm; her hand had slipped from my back. I was completely saturated from the rain; I could feel how my socks were soggy and it's uhmm yuck. I resume my movements; oblivious of what was happening behind.

"You're the only one who's making all of these shits complicated!", Xin yelled from my back. "If you like me too, you could've just tell me from the start. Everything would be so damn easy Snow.", I ignored everything and I kept my pace. "I don't know why my heart chose you, I don't even know if I should fight for you!"

I swung around to face her; I have so much to say that I don't know where to start. "I love you. It's as simple and as complicated as that!", The rain have eased off and I could see her beyond the little raindrops.