Aurelia Hargrave - a, not-so-ordinary, twenty-four year old girl who thrives on illegal Street racing and has all her hearts for the elfin little ones in her NGO - Child Care Centre, which she has been running since the age of eighteen. Weird combin...
AFTER BIDDING FAREWELL to everyone, we finally sat in the car. Theodore pulled the car on the gravel road while I was fiddling with my fingers, on my lap. One moment, I felt that I should break this deafening silence but when I looked over at him, I decided otherwise. He was oddly quiet, or maybe I expected him to make some small talks at least. His unwavering gaze was focused on the streets and it looked as if he was deep in thoughts.
I decided to remove the makeup so I grabbed the makeup bag placed at my feet. Pulling out a cleansing wipe I got rid of all the cosmetic products. The acetone stayed on the face, leaving behind a trail of brisk tenderness as a repercussion.
The next work at hand, then was my hairstyle. Pulling out pin after pin from my head, I winced now and then, when my strands got entangled with the barrette.
When I was ultimately done with removing every single commercial product, I sighed in relaxation. Weaving my fingers through the locks of wavy hair, running my fingertips gently.
I looked over at Theodore, but he seemed totally unaware of my being here so I concluded to leave him alone. The glass pane of the window glided open with a press of my finger and I rested my head on the window sill, breathing in and out, relishing the frosty weather.
Why do I feel like something was wrong?
And strangely enough, why was it eating me alive?
For God's sake, I wasn't someone who was concerned with what was right or wrong?
Everything was completely fine and reasonable when we got out from the banquet. And how far I know, I didn't see anything unethical happening in the car. These thoughts were getting me anxious and fazed.
Okay, just relax Lia.
You are just over thinking.
That kiss seemed to block and digest up your brain cells.
Let this phase pass, things would be normal in no time.
Till then breathe. Just breathe, in and out.
But however I tried to convince myself, I retaliated before crossing the peace line. I wanted to feel numb.
The cool breeze kissed my cheeks and played with my loose tendrils just like it used to do while I was on my bike. This thought made me sluggish and I dropped the shoulders loose.
This thought, darn it, added to the discomfort and little by little I felt suffocated. The stomach muscles reflexed and a clogging feeling settled in my throat, as if I'd throw up any moment. I urged myself to breathe deeply, filling the lungs to the fullest. I was failing miserably.
"Can you open that window to let the air pass?" I panted, pointing at the window on his side.
He didn't seem to have any special interest in my face and this thought of being ignored made my stomach churn. Nonetheless, he rolled down the pane the next moment, after the words settled in his mind. His face still devoid of emotions. I didn't care.
I dropped my head on the leather seat, closing my eyes tightly when the car picked up speed. Something different was happening in my chest, as if someone was squeezing it. I started wearing images of different things to divert my mind; dresses, shoes, smell of paints, swans, white horses - their silky shiny hair…
The nonexistent rumbling of the car stopped as soon as the engine died. I breath encouragingly at the familiar sight of the house.
I scurried out of the vehicle as quickly as humanly possible. Theodore, on the other hand, took ample time turning off the engine and locking it further. I skipped to his side as he walked in front of me towards the entrance.
The crickets were buzzing, which could be fairly heard from the garden behind the house. The sky was suffocated with heaps and heaps of monstrous, thundering clouds. Looked as if it was going to rain any moment. The environment was the one - the lull before the storm.
He unlocked the door, wordlessly and we moved inside, the tail of the wedding dress following us closely. I didn't make any attempt to pick it up. The veil and the makeup bag were secured in my arms.
"Thank you," I blurted out. The silence was eating me alive and I wanted to talk. I decided to be bold and speak up what's in my mind.
Theodore looked over me quizzically, surprised by my sudden eruption.
"I mean… even if we couldn't be in a typical husband-wife relationship, we could at least be friends… for a year." I intoned, nervously and then gulped when my speech was done.
His eyes bore into mine, carrying an untold emotion and then he scoffed rudely, to my absolute surprise.
Something inside me broke without a sound.
***
The best way not to get Your heart broken Is to pretend That you don't have one.
***
Thoughts?
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