Ch.31

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"Hey, are you okay?"

Little Eddy peeked over his crossed arms, tracking the soft voice that interrupted his sobbing.

A short boy was standing in front of the bush where Eddy was hiding in the park. Eddy could barely see the boy's face as tears had blurred his vision.

"Yeah." Feeling embarrassed about crying in front of a stranger, Eddy wiped away his tears streaming down his face nonstop.

"Hey...it's okay. What's wrong?" The boy in glasses tried to squeeze himself in the small bush next to Eddy.

"Well...My friend Billy did not want to play with me anymore." Eddy finally gave in as he went back to sobbing and covering his face."They said I'm not cool enough."

"Not cool enough?"

"I'm just not good at...basically everything. I don't play sports and I don't have time to watch those popular shows because I have to practice."

"Practice? Do you play an instrument?"

"Violin. I play violin." Eddy felt more embarrassed and stupid after that self-disclosure. "All the others kids are making fun of me because playing violin is not cool enough."

"Really? I think it's cool. I play violin, too. You can be my coolest fiend who also plays the violin?"

Eddy's face lit up with excitement in just a second. He finally stopped crying and glanced over this other boy. 

The shorter boy was smiling at him in the softest way that Eddy could imagine someone would smile at him. 

Those black eyes are warm and beautiful. Eddy thought. "Did you just say that you want me to be your friend?"

"If you don't mind? I'm eight and I'm assuming that we are only one or two years apart?"

Eddy was about to tell him that he was seven before everything started to fade away out of his control.

"Wait, don't go...Brett!"

***

Eddy opened his eyes and realized that he just woke himself up by yelling Brett's name while having a dream. He was very glad that he didn't have to share the room with any siblings so nobody would hear him sleep talking.

Eddy couldn't count how many times that he had this dream about his lonely childhood but this was the first time Eddy called the boy in his dream 'Brett.' He actually never figured out this nice boy's name and couldn't remember anything after that brief talk in the park.

Could it be possible that he had actually met Brett before the math tutoring?

Nah. This is not a fanfic so it can't be possible. Eddy sighed and made his way to the bathroom.

And he knew exactly why he was having this dream: He was worried that he will be left alone after Brett graduated and went to uni.

It's been a few weeks since Eddy's fantastic birthday date, and Eddy could still remember every detail of it as he really had a great time. Since then, both Brett and himself have been really busy with tons of exams, papers, and assignments.

Brett was particularly busy as he was finishing up high school and preparing for his transition to the Queensland Conservatorium. Eddy was thrilled for Brett getting accepted but not surprised at all.

And he was totally fine with separating with his best friend and boyfriend.

Eddy felt too selfish to even tell Brett that he was worried. 

I should be happy for Brett. He is one step closer to his soloist dream and I should be supporting his decision. Eddy stared at himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth. 

But really, all he could see was a pair of sorrowful eyes showing insecurity and fear around their relationship.

How unfair that Brett is one year ahead. This is not Eddy's first time feeling behind since Brett always gets to experience everything before him. And he is always chasing after Brett on literally everything. He will not hesitate to call Brett his role model if someone asks him this question in an interview. 

Eddy will never forget how he felt lost in Brett's warm smile and his 'I want to be a soloist' announcement during math tutoring four years ago. He admires Brett's determination and confidence every second when they practice together. 

And he will never forget how Brett introduced him as his 'best friend' at Brett's birthday party when he turned 15, connected him to his other friends in the youth orchestra, grabbed his hand to run after tricking those who had bullied Eddy in his 6th grade, and asked Eddy to join his family trip to go camping every summer. 

It was Brett who taught him to appreciate the world from a different angle. It was and will always be Brett who inspires Eddy to be brave and 'just do it'. His life had become more colorful since he met Brett, tried to trust people again and make new friends, and began to enjoy music and practice more. 

Eddy realized that he is now able to be wholeheartedly in love only because Brett gave him the courage to explore and be vulnerable.

Please, don't go...Eddy thought about his dream. Don't leave me, Brett. I need you...

To be honest, he has been feeling painful lately when they practiced together. Eddy just could not stop counting down the days for Brett's graduation nor ignoring the fact that the love of his life is leaving him soon.

Yes, Eddy knew that he just turned 18 and Brett is only 19. But if this isn't true love, then why am I feeling so painful right now? How could anyone not freak out about transitioning to a long distance relationship when the two are so deeply in love and inseparable?

Eddy couldn't help but regret not discovering his feelings for Brett earlier. Maybe they could have more time or...

"Are you up, Eddy? You are going to be late for your violin lesson!" Mrs. Chen yelled downstairs. 

Eddy let out another deep sigh and splashed some cold water on his face. 

"I'm coming, Mom!" 



TBC.

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