Chapter 18: Wanted

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Ezra was sure he must've been dreaming.

After all, how else do you explain that he was lying in a bed shirtless with Colby sleeping in his arms? It had to be a dream -a really fantastic dream- but a dream nonetheless.

It was a very realistic dream. Ezra could feel the warmth of Colby's body pressed tightly against his own. He could smell the lingering scent of his body spray, he didn't know what fragrance is was but it was nice. He could hear Colby's gentle breathing occasionally interrupted by a murmuring something in his sleep. It was a very realistic dream that he hoped to never wake up from.

He buried his face in Colby's dark hair and squeezed him a little tighter, carefully though, as not to wake him from his sleep. There wasn't anything in the world that Ezra wouldn't give right now to stay in this moment forever. Warm, comfortable and happy.

Of course, he couldn't entirely focus on this perfect moment as he began to wonder what had happened for them to end up in this position.

Ezra had arrived at Brent's party last night with Sophie. He'd picked her up at her house and headed there together and he went to Brent's with one plan in mind; get wasted. His week had been shit. If he wasn't avoiding Colby at school so that Ezra would stop lusting after him, then he was avoiding his father at home (if his father ever was home) so that questions about his sexuality stopped coming up. Well, his father didn't question Ezra's sexuality but rather forcibly demanded he stop whatever terrible homosexual desires he had. He had shown up to the party, was welcomed by Brent, then immediately started drinking.

He took every drink someone would offer to him, he was pretty sure he'd taken the drinks whether somebody had offered them or not. He remembered some girl grinding against his back -thankfully Sophie came and stopped her- then they had gone to dance to the music and the rest was a blur. His head felt like it was filled with scorpions repeatedly stinging him. If he wasn't so focused on keeping Colby asleep so that they could cuddle longer, he would be slumped over in agony by now.

He stayed perfectly still, trying to memorise the feel of Colby's body against his just in case this was the last time this ever happened. He didn't want it to be, in Ezra's wildest dreams they were together every night and Ezra wasn't sickened by himself and neither was his father. But he couldn't engulf himself in such fantasies.

There was a loud clattering outside of the bedroom they were in and there was two voices talking to each other. One was Brent who kept grumbling about being pain and the other was Finley who sounded very pleased with himself.

"My ass hurts." Brent whined, his voice muffled by the door.

"Come on, baby, you have to admit it was pretty good though. Right?" Finley replied suggestively.

"Yeah it was really good." Brent said in a lower tone, sounding almost embarrassed. "But you could've gone easier on me!"

"I'm sorry. But I do recall you screaming for me to 'go harder', so am I a bad boyfriend for not going easy on you, or am I a good boyfriend for doing exactly what you say?" Ezra could tell Finley had a shit eating grin on his face even without being able to see him. "Hey, didn't Colby stay the night? Where is he?"

"Ezra did too, according to Sophie. They're probably downstairs or in a bedroom." Finley whistled at Brent's remark. "What? Is there something weird about that?" Panic erupted in Ezra's chest.

Shit. Finley knows about him and Colby. Shit. What if he tells Brent? Ezra wasn't ready to tell anyone. No one was supposed to know. Please don't tell him, Ezra chanted in his head, please, please don't tell him. Instead of moving away from Colby in case Brent or Finley walked in, Ezra found himself pulling Colby even closer into his chest. The smart thing to do would be to let go and pretend nothing had happened but he couldn't. He had Colby in his arms, how was he supposed to let go now?

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