Chapter 19: The C in Colby stands for Confused

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Was that a rejection?

But he didn't say no.

He apologised...

... then left.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

Colby stood in Brent's doorway, the crisp morning air caressed his face and was trying to stop his brain from over heating. He'd been standing there for about twenty minutes just staring out into the street. He wasn't sure why. Maybe in case Ezra came back or maybe just because he needed some air.

He thought he'd made a break through with his feelings this morning. After Sophie interrogated him about his relationship with Ezra and how Colby could no longer deny that he wanted to be able to touch Ezra again, he realised that he wanted Ezra -to himself. No more pretending he liked the idea of Ezra dating Sophie. No more bromance when he wanted it without the 'b'.

He was pretty proud of himself as well. Normally it took him weeks to figure out he liked somebody. It took him six months to realise he liked Joanna -not the best decision in hindsight but whatever he moved on- and that was with the assistance of him mom explaining his feelings to him. Yep, he was a big boy now. A big boy that knew how he felt. A big boy that may have just gotten turned down by the bigger boy they like.

But was he rejected? He honestly didn't know.

He asked Ezra "do you want me", he cringed just thinking about how horny he sounded saying that. To which Ezra replied by apologising to him and leaving. Ezra said that he did something to Colby but he had no idea what. Everything they did together was consensual and fun. What could he be apologising for?

At first, Colby thought Ezra was apologising because Ezra was rejecting him but surely then he would've said 'I'm sorry I don't feel the same' instead of 'I'm sorry for doing this to you'. Was 'this' Ezra rejecting him? But surely not. But maybe. But no. But yes. But no. But yes. But n-

"Colby? You alright, man?" Finley placed a gentle but firm hand on Colby's shoulder. He'd been in such high spirits this morning after managing to bang Brent last night and Colby had heard every single moment of it. The walls here were too thin. Colby felt kinda guilty for bringing the mood down with his problems.

Colby didn't turn to face Finley, he kept looking out into the street. A blonde boy walked up the sidewalk but it wasn't Ezra and it made Colby's heart sink. "Yeah, I'm- I'm okay." He stood in silence for a moment before he plucked up the courage to ask Finley, "How do you know if you've been rejected?"

"Is that what happened this morning?" Finley asked carefully. Colby could hear Brent singing to the radio in the kitchen, oblivious to the tension, Brent was sure that Ezra would come back. Ezra had left his car on Brent's driveway so he didn't really have a choice. The question was how long would Colby wait for Ezra to return? Should Colby wait at all?

"I don't know." Colby murmured just loud enough for Finley to hear. "It wasn't some big romantic gesture or anything but I thought it got my point across. Then he just left. He just left." Even saying it out loud didn't make it make sense to Colby.

"Wait, what?" Great, Finley was confused too and he was supposed to be the expert in- gay things. Ugh Colby just didn't know anymore.

"Do you think I should try talking to him again?"

"Yes." Finley said it with such conviction that Colby snapped out of his daze to stare at him. "He didn't give you an answer, plus... he's seemed pretty freaked recently so maybe you just caught him at a bad time. I think it's worth a civil talking to." Finley's serious face morphed into a shit eating grin. "So... Colby's gotta crush."

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