The Choice Of Us

Stranger Scares

TIANA

Along black and white lanes there's a peace and ease that reverberates throughout the essence of our souls. A serenity that many can easily take advantage of.

I had lost that calm, beaming sun in my life once he left and I felt trapped in a perpetual storm. And just when I felt I had managed to find adequate resources to somehow survive each agonizing day, the sound of bells ringing melodiously triggered a swirling tsunami into my life at the voice on the other end.

And my body no longer felt like my own. Even when I swirled my tongue around my dry mouth to gather my bearings and feel some sense of control nothing seemed real. I felt detached from reality taking each shaky step on the ground that felt more like quicksand prepared to swallow me whole.

Pushing the doors that felt more like acid to my skin, I began moving frantically across the corridor fearful and terrified. I was a jumble of nerves as my eyes searched for her.

Searched for the only other thing that gave me a reason to wake up every day.

The harsh winds brewing inside me made it harder to breathe and see given the blurry tears making a silent trail down my cheeks.

When one retells an experience that involves facing the possibility of losing a loved one, hearing about the regrets that surface almost made me drop to the floor and scream. Especially upon realizing the regrets I had were endlessly harbouring towards wishing this was some abnormally real dream that I would wake up from.

Room 204!

Room 204!

WHERE THE HELL IS IT?

Please be alive- if you leave that's pretty much it for me.

Please don't take the life from her eyes.

A million thoughts travelled a million miles in my mind and as the emotions clog up to block my eyes, I send a silent prayer hoping she would fight.

Please don't take her away from me too.

I nearly broke out into a full sprint once my eyes landed on the door- bursting into the room I push my legs toward my mother laying on the hospital bed.

Collapsing at her bedside my hands trembled as they grabbed her slightly frail hand. The contact had her eyes opening to send a weak smile in my direction," Old age brought on a lot more than I bargained for," she joked.

I understood the need she had to ease my fears, however, her joke failed to elicit even a giggle from me. Needless to say, I was put off at how she was brushing this off as if she had gum stuck on her shoe as opposed to the heart attack she suffered. I grew immensely upset as the relief pumped through my body.

"You just had a heart attack, now's not the time for jokes mom. It's bad enough dealing with our losses," I breathed releasing a ragged breath squeezing her hand;" I can't afford to lose you too."

Her face softened as she began rubbing soothing circles on my hands. "Sweetheart. . . I'm fine really. It was just a minor thing, to be honest. And luckily this man was there to call 911 when it happened," she gestured to the corner of the room. I hadn't even taken the time to observe my surroundings, I was too focused on reaching out to my mother to end death's plan to take her. When I looked up- indeed a man was standing quietly in the corner.

His grey orbs observed us holding an emotion I couldn't quite detect. My eyes swept over him taking in his slightly bulky build and face; wavy brown hair, slightly crooked nose, firm square jaw, pink thin shaped lips and. . . . white.