The Choice Of Us

Silence

TIANA

"Never in a million years, did I ever think I'd be seated here saying this- openly coming out about the fact that for years my first ever sexual experience wasn't with some cute guy whose smile cracked my mask, melting my insides," the young woman paused, audible sniffles soon followed and I felt myself blinking profusely to hold back my tears at the look in her eyes.

I could see something was amiss to the rhythm at which her heart beat. And what was left was some distorted tune to the rest of her body.

In that chair, her hands clenched- unclenched the sides of it, the tightness akin to that of a child holding tightly onto that which would offer them security. There was a vulnerability that removed the scab off my own wound.

Seeing someone look so lost had me yearning to reach out and comfort her even if I didn't know her. When she made no move to continue, Nathan reached out to give her hand a gentle squeeze and even though I couldn't hear what he had whispered in the woman's ear I could only assume he was offering some words of encouragement.

She nodded her head and leaned back in her chair squaring her shoulders in the process as if to gather strength to push through in finishing the story," Unfortunately after my mother passed, I found my hands holding the short end of the stick when my father took it upon himself to see me as the only other woman suitable to fill in the duties of his wife," she shuddered swallowing hard, the moisture gathering in my own eyes watching her fall apart as the other people around the room held tears of their own witnessing her unfold a dark part of herself.

When Nathan had invited me to a support group he had created, nothing could have prepared me for the heart breaking stories each person in the room shared. It was difficult listening to each of them take a trip into the past where calloused hands moved over their bodies, the same bodies they were taught were meant to be temples only to be treat.

I was frustrated, hurt to see how much a lot of their lives had changed; some had turned to drugs using it as an outlet to forget, whereas others had found it hard to be entranced by the appeal of love and avoided relationships with anyone like a plague.

When would it all end?

When would we be able to walk on the streets at any time without having to look over our shoulders, without having to keep a watchful eye to ensure that nothing was lurking in the shadows?

What a life we live.

After the meeting, I stayed behind and waited patiently for Nathan and Monica. It had been my idea for her to come here, she was unsure at first until eventually she agreed and now observing the gleam in her eye. I was hopeful. Despite her refusing to share, not only was it not my place but I could understand bearing your soul to strangers was hard to do.

"Thank you so much for coming," Nathan said opening his arms to give me a hug. I happily accepted, relishing in the warmth of the gesture still feeling a bit emotional at the stories I heard.

"If anything I should thank you for inviting me. It's truly amazing what you're doing here for these people," I gestured to the room; it wasn't much considering it was a small space that he was renting out for the moment. However, in my eyes, I began to already see the place expanding to reach more people from different walks of life to help them cope with such experiences.

He waved his hand dismissively," All we ever do is talk about what they've been through."

"But sometimes that's all some people ever need," I emphasised boring my eyes into his," A place for them to not only feel vulnerable but a place where they can see that they're not the only ones who've gone through something tragic." I had meant every word of what I said- I hoped that with time more and more people would come forward and not feel ashamed to walk through those doors and seek aid.