What About Love? Catthew (editing)

Chapter 21

   Carters POV:

  I pulled down his pants see a large bluge in his boxers. I looked up at him with his head back.

  I dragged my fingers along his waistband. He groaned at my touch. I love the sounds that come from his lips.

Their so....beautiful.

  I really do love this boy. And will do anything and everything I can for him. I kiss along his V-line softly. I brought my face back up to his lips and kiss them gently. I looked into his eyes see a tear fall down.

  I quickly wiped it away. "What's wrong." I ask softly. He shakes his head.

"I Love you so much."

   He said letting more tears fall. "Matt baby.. what going on with you? talk to me." I beg grabbing a hold of his hand. "You deserved so much better." He whispers. I drag my hand up his arm, he suddenly pulled away.

   "Matt let me see your arm." I say grabbing a hold of it again this time gripping him harder. He winced. I lighten my grip on his arm realizing I was hurting him.

  I was shocked at what I saw. How could I not have noticed? How could I have been so blind? W-why would he hind this from me?

"Matt...."

  His head stayed down, his eyes in contact with the floor. We sit in silence, not talking just crying. I've never seen him like this. So..so broken. 

   I look over to the clock on his desk. 11:08pm. Have we really been sitting like this for almost two whole hours. I sigh as I look over too Matt.  His tear stained cheeks lightly red.

  I stand up but feel a hand latch around my wrist. "Don't go..please." He whispers. "I'll be back in the morning so we could talk I promis--"

"No, Stay." He demands. He scoots over making room for me in his bed. I slid in pulling the cover over us. He snuggled into me.

  I close my eyes letting sleep take over my body. But, before I fell into a deep slumber I heard a faint 'I'm sorry'.

Matt's POV:

    I Have come to the conclusion that I want to be with Carter and only Carter. No..I need to be with Carter. He is the only one I need.

  I know that I can just be with him and be fucking Cameron on the side. Its wrong. I don't want to lose Camerons friendship but if it means saving mine and Carters relationship then I will do anything to keep him close.

  He really does care so much about me and I did was take him for granted. I'm a horrible person he deserves so much better than I can give.

I have to break thing off with Cameron and no matter what he does or says I will not have sex with him.  I lightly open my eyes looking over seeing Carter on my right. I look over at the time only 9:00am. I get out of bed knowing Carter won't be up for another hour or two.

- - - - - - - -

  I go straight too this bathroom have too pee like hell. I always have to pee really badly when I wake up I don't know why.

  I finish doing my business and strip down getting into the shower.

  After I finished I threw on some clothes and put on my shoes. I grabbed my phone and ran down stairs.

//

It had been 30 minutes and I was still sitting in my car outside of Camerons house. Come on Matt just get it over with.

   I took a deep breath and open the car door. I walked to front door and got ready to knock. But I couldnt. I turn around to leave bit the door opened. "Matt?" He said before  I could get away. I slowly turned back around to see Cameron and....Nash?

"What are you doing here?" I spat at Nash. He walked closer to me I thought  he was going to hit me but he put his hand on my shoulder. "Im sorry Matthew." He whispered before he walked pass me to his Car.

"Come in." Cameron said as he opened the door wide. We went up to his room to talk.

He sat on his bed and motioned me to take the sit beside him. "Why was he here?" I asked. "It was nothing." He lie.

  "Cameron you can tell me." I assured him intertwining our fingers. "I know I just dont want to." He mutters. I sighed. "Im sorry." He whispered.

  I didnt say anything for a while just played with his hand. "Nash told me that..he loves me." He said softly.

"Wait, He's gay?" I asked confused. "Yeah.....and he hated himself for it." I nodded. "A few

weeks ago, before I told you I was gay he kissed me." He said.

  "And it was great, But I didnt want to be with him because he bullied guys like Us, because they excepted who the were." He continued.

"Ok but isn't this what you wanted Cam?" I asked. "Yeah, but that was before us." He smiled weakly.

  "Cameron we aren't--"

  "I know......but Im open to the ideal that one day we will be."

No...No he cant be falling for me. We cant be together I dont love him in that way.

"Cameron....."

"I love you Matthew." He said sternly. "Im in love with you." He continued. He leaned in to kiss me but I stud up untangling our hands.

  "No Cam, I-I dont love You that way." I studdered out.  

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Happy New Years everyone I hope you guys the best luck in this new year 2015 I love you all!!!!