De Luca Italian Mafia

CHAPTER 48 - Death

Alina POV:

It’s been a week, one week, seven days, one hundred and sixty eight hours and I feel numb, coming home, back to America, without him alive. Death is a funny thing, some people cry, some don't, some kick and scream and some just go on with life as if nothing happened. Planning everything as if on autopilot, not speaking, doing everything because it’s how you are supposed to be, church, flowers, casket, hole in the ground or cremation, and the people, all the people.

Oh the people that pretend to care, as if they really know the person, as if they really cared when the person was alive. Receiving sympathy cards, flowers, even food, and all I can do is stand and stare and be polite, I can't even force a smile or a thank you. A simple nod of the head is all I can manage, how are you supposed to act when someone you love does? Someone that played such a big part in your life, loved you no matter what, and supported you no matter what, now they are just gone and nothing can bring them back.

You miss small things, a smile, a hug, their smell that feels like home, the person’s warmth. All the things you wanted to say but will never get a chance too, all the things that you wanted to do, but now you will never get the chance. Your whole life has changed and there's no way it will ever be the same again, your partner, your sidekick, the one person that helped you and never judged you, the one person that was your safety net for such a long time, is now gone.

"Alina, the funeral starts at ten, you need to get out of bed and get ready, and for the love of God eat something," Mari says, I have been holed up in my and Romeo's bedroom the past week when I'm not doing the duties I'm supposed to do.

I get up on autopilot, and walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower, I have not cried since that night, the numbness consuming me. The warm water cascading misting up the glass doors, maybe if they mist up enough I can shut the world out a bit longer, just a bit longer. No such luck, "Alina, it's already eight, please get your ass ready and out that shower, you have been in there forty five minutes!" Jake stalks in screaming at me. They are only trying to help, I should listen, but I just can't find the strength. The one person I need is not here. I turn off the water and step out, Jake hands me a towel and I just automatically dry off and start to get ready, Jake dries my hair for me, and puts it into an elegant bun, while trying to say some sweet words to assure me everything will be ok, but I just feel like I can barely breathe.

Once Jake has finished, Marie tries to add some color to my face by doing my make-up, however simple it is, I appreciate the gesture nonetheless. Jake has laid out a long sleeve, knee length black Gucci lace dress with matching stiletto heels, and my long black coat. I slip on some underwear and my clothing, just putting some diamond studs in, making sure I have my clutch and black sunglasses ready too. One thing I can't forget is my engagement ring, the one thing that makes this all bearable, like Romeo is here with me, supporting me and helping me through this.

I head down stairs and Romeo's family, and my family are all here, hovering and making sure everything is on schedule. Luc hands me a cream cheese bagel, the only thing I seem to get in lately and some chamomile tea. I have not told anyone that I'm pregnant not even Jake or Mari, I took a test when I got back and it was definitely positive, I saw a doctor and I'm just over nine weeks, a bit further than I thought I was. I just can't bring myself to tell anyone yet.

After breakfast which consisted of everyone speaking but me, we make our way to the cars, which are limousines for the occasion. Dimitri, Leo, Luc, Jake, Marie and I take one car, while the rest of the family take the other. It’s a long drive to me, but in reality it's only been about twenty minutes. I sigh getting out, the only reason the funeral is in New York is because he wanted to be cremated, strange for our world but I guess it’s your choice.