In My Head ❌

In My Head- Part 1

I sat down heavily on the bed and sighed as I realized it was going to be another long lonely night with these thoughts in my head. I laid back on the bed not in the mood to get up to change clothes or even turn off the lights. My phone buzzed and the screen lit up on the bed beside me; I rolled over and looked at the notification. The notification was from the group chat, I unlocked the phone and began scrolling through the messages from the past few minutes

  (Text Messages Start here)

Ant: Anyone fancy going out for dinner tonight? It was a long day for audtions and it might do us some good to go out and relax a little.

Simon: I'm up for it if everyone else is

Amanda: I'll go as long as its not Chinese again

Alesha: I'm in as long as we don't go to one of those places where you can't even pronounce the menu

David: Well of course I'm in! Can't miss a chance to have dinner with my Simon!

Amanda: Oh Goodness

Alesha: Oh david

Dec: LOL we will see about getting you two a table to yourselves, something romantic!

Simon: As much as I appreciate the thought Dec that's more yours and Ant's thing isn't it?

David: Simon's right, we prefer to do our flirting on camera!

Dec: That was mean I'm telling my boyfriend on you lol

Ant: Don't worry decky just ignore him, he and david are just jealous because we are a cuter couple than they are!

Amanda: Oh you boys are always arguing and teasing each other like small children! I'm going to get changed, meet everyone in the lobby around 8?

Alesha: see you then!

David: I must go as well and find something to wear to impress my Simon!

Simon: ugh, see you all at 8

Dec: did anyone ask Stephen?

Ant: He's read the messages but hasn't said anything

Dec: That's odd, usually we can't shut him up LOL

David: Guys if he wants to come he will, maybe he just fell asleep?

Ant: Yeah maybe, I'll change and go up to his room and see if he wants to come

                                             (Text Messages End Here)

I got up off the bed quickly and shut off the lights in hopes that Ant would see them off and go away. I didn't want to go out with them, it would just be a night of making jokes at my expense. If it was just Ant and Dec then I might have been tempted to go, however the boys and the judges were more than i can handle right now. I carefully walked back through the dark room to the bed and pulled my shoes off so that I could lie down properly. I was lying on the bed desperately trying to quite the thoughts in my head when I heard a knock on the door that made me jump. I stopped myself from yelping out in fright or falling from the bed just in time as I realized that it had to be Ant.

"Stephen! You in there mate? It's Ant, just came to tell you we are all going out for dinner and would like you to come with us if you're up to it."

Yeah right i thought to myself they don't want my company, Ant's only here out of pity. I'm nothing to them they don't really want me there they just feel sorry for me; I don't need their pity. I keep quite and wait for Ant to give up and go away, however to my surprise another pair of footsteps could be heard approaching the door. I had no doubt in mind as to who the second set of footsteps belong to, these two were never apart for very long and wherever one was you could count on the other being there as well.

"Ant, what are you doing?" Dec asked

"I told you I was coming up to check on Stephen and ask him to go to dinner with us." Ant's Voice replied

"No Ant, I meant why are you staring at the door?"

"Well I was waiting on him to open it, but he hasn't made a sound so maybe he's not here. Maybe he already went out on his own. "

"Well we can find out!" Dec replied

I quickly checked to make sure my phone was on silent, but I shouldn't have bothered. Because the next thing I knew I heard a key card being swiped in the door. Great I thought, leave it to those two to get their hands on a master key card. I wondered where they got it from and why they had it in the first place. My questions were soon answered as I heard a deep voice ask, "Dec where did you get that from?" A slightly higher voice replied, "swiped it off a housekeeper's cart thought we might use it to have a bit of fun and prank the others."

I quickly shut my eyes and tried to regulate my breathing like I would when I was asleep, taking slow, deep, and even breaths. I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the bed as the lights were turned on, the footsteps came closer to the bed and I fought to keep my breathing under control pretending to be asleep. The footsteps stopped and I could feel someone's presence next to the bed, however I couldn't tell which one it was. I continued to pretend i was sleeping even as I heard the second set of footsteps approaching the bed.

"Wow David was right for once!" Ant said quietly, his voice was near my head.

"Well Miracles do happen you know." Dec's voice was further away closer to my stomach than my head.

I continued to breathe deep and even in an effort to keep up the charade, it seemed to be working. Haha I thought, I am a good actor after all!

"Should we wake him up?"

"No Ant, let him sleep. We can always come back later and talk to him. And we will invite him out for dinner another time."

I heard the footsteps leaving and almost sighed in relief but stopped myself from doing so. "Hold on a minute." This time Ant's voice sounded like it was coming from the foot of my bed. My pulse sped up against my will and I really started struggling to keep up the deep even breathing pattern. I was sure I had been found out and had a lot of explaining to do. Maybe I could play it off as a joke, maybe I could just not give any explanation, maybe....suddenly I stopped mid-thought as I felt a blanket being tossed over me.

"There that's better just in case, because it tends to get cold and the heaters in this hotel are rubbish." Ant's voice spoke from the bottom of the bed.

"C'mon Ant it's almost 8, Simon will leave without us."

"Relax Dec. he won't show until about 8:30, you know how he is"

But contrary to Ant's statement I heard footsteps retreat, the lights were turned off and I could hear the door close. I opened my eyes a few minute later once I was sure the boys were gone. I looked down at the blanket covering me confused. Why would he do that? It was very confusing and my mind started to chew on it for a few minutes before it came up with a conclusion. Ant must have done it to keep me from getting sick but I was sure that he didn't do it out of friendship. He did it so he and Dec wouldn't have to host Britain's Got More Talent if I got sick and couldn't, he did it for his sake not mine. This was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with. Because who would care about me? What was I? The presenter who got a show only because Ant and Dec couldn't do it, I was always a second choice a backup plan. I was just Stephen, no one special. At least that's what the thoughts in my head told me.