A Rose Between Thorns

Chapter 72: Shattered

It's been weeks since that fateful day.

Bang PD agreed to give me some time off work to recover from the incident, but I still wanted to do more than sit around the house. Namjoon gave me a white board so I could communicate, at least until I'm able to speak again.

Thanks to him I was able to convince Bang PD to let me at least film for the music videos and a few other things. The only thing I'm unable to do is sing of course, but I had already gotten all of my stuff for the album out of the way so it's not too much of an issue.

Downside is the incident got leaked pretty quickly. The fans consider it a sasaeng incident, one of the worst to ever happen to an idol. It was all over the internet and I received a lot of love and support from ARMY, but I feel awful for worrying the fans so much.

Due to the leak it made no sense for us to hide it, so I'm allowed to be a part of interviews and VLive's as long as I have my white board with me.

The rest of summer came and went, autumn right on it's heels as the air began to get noticeably cooler. I had been staying in Jimin's room since the incident, too afraid to go back into my own.

Every time I see the door it gives me chills, reminding me just how unsafe I am even in my own house. The rest of the maknae line was nice enough to gather some of my clothes to store in Jimin's closet for the time being, at least until I'm ready to go back.

My mentality has done a whole one-eighty since the incident, sometimes I end up drifting off for hours at a time. It made it hard to get through my schedule to an extent, forcing myself to focus takes so much energy now. I find it hard to smile anymore, I'm cant even do it for interviews and other public appearances.

This hasn't gone unnoticed by the boys, whoever is home with me usually tries to make me laugh or smile in some way or another. Taehyung even did a video call with his family and asked them to put Sketch on the phone for me, but all that did was make me miss my baby even more than I already do.

I want to say that at least my sleep schedule is doing great, but I can't. Night after night I've been having nightmares of the incident, and I know I've kept Jimin up a couple times because of it.

I can't help but feel guilty for it, so some nights after he clocks out for the night I move to the living room to sleep so I don't disturb him. Normally I manage to wake up before any of the others notice I'm there, I know Jimin would have a fit if he found out.

There were only a few days that the boys couldn't be here with me, and on those days either Gisselle or the TXT boys would take their place. There wasn't a single moment that I was completely alone, and the boys finally got me a door with a lock on it.

Still not clear like theirs, instead my window is like a one way mirror instead. I can see out, but no one can see in. Choi is my escort when we are filming or other things, at least when Gisselle is busy.

Most of my free time is spent scrolling through social media and other things, though recently I've gotten back into drawing. I feel like a little kid sometimes with how the boys act around me, especially with Jin practically doting on me when he's home.

I don't blame him at all though, and honestly I've gotten accustomed to it now. I don't mind it as much as I used to, surprisingly enough since now he basically treats me like I'm a child. I found myself the proud owner of five new coloring books, some plushies that are now cluttering Jimin's bed and a few other items.

The rest of the members are taking this pretty hard as well, though they try to act unbothered around me. I tend to stick by Jimin the most whenever we do group outings or just hang out all together, though part of that might be due to the bond.