A Rose Between Thorns

Chapter 91: A Sister's Pain

I could hear their fighting all the way up in my room, but I merely ignored it as I got my shoes and purse together. I do have to leave in the next hour, so I'll just get everything together and hope that no one comes up to disturb me. I can't believe Hoseok and Taehyung would say such things. The others didn't even protest except for Yoongi, so does that mean they feel the same way?

It was bold of me to assume that I would be included in all of this by now. I've been attacked left and right, the boys probably don't trust me enough to be a part of the group songs like this. Before they had songs I had already heard before and they knew by heart, and I didn't have any lyrics with Jimin and Taehyung's solo songs. They may trust me in a relationship sense, sure. But with our career's, probably not.

What am I even doing here then? I let out a sigh as I take a seat in my desk chair. Is this what my life is going to be? Just sitting on the side lines and just look pretty for the boys to show off? I hear a quiet knock on my door, breaking my train of thought. Well so much for that, I think to myself. I didn't even notice the yelling had stopped downstairs, I was so lost in my own head. 

A moment later the door opens, and a certain mochi closes it softly behind him as he enters. I'm not facing the door, so I only know because of the reflection from my monitor screen in front of me. I lean back in my chair as Jimin walks over, and he slowly turns my chair around to face him. 

"Tajang... I'm so sorry about earlier," Jimin says in a quiet tone, pulling over my red ottoman to sit on. "Everyone else feels awful as well, Hoseok especially. He says he didn't know what came over him, and Jungkook claimed to have seen his eyes change color. Please don't be angry with him..."

"Don't be angry?" I ask, feeling a burning sensation behind my eyes. "I'm more than just angry, Jimin. I'm upset, my heart hurts like I was stabbed with a stake in my chest. It's not just Hoseok either, both him and Taehyung made me want to crumble right then and there. I barely managed to keep myself together."

"I know sweetheart, I know," Jimin says as he takes my hands in his. "What both of them said was uncalled for, it's not fair to you at all."

"You know what I was thinking the night I was stabbed?" I ask to the mochi's surprise. "I remember thinking, I need to protect them. No matter what, they need to be safe. That thought fueled the adrenaline I had that night, but now.. I feel like I shouldn't have felt so determined."

"What do you mean..?" Jimin asks with a concerned expression.

"I feel like I'm not even your soulmate, just another staff member. After today, I don't feel like I'm a member of BTS. I feel worthless, something I never though I'd feel again once I had gotten here. Do you know how much it hurts, to feel like the people you love most think that you're not worth anything? Do I even matter to you all?"

The insecurities I hadn't felt in such a long time began to pile up as tears began to stream down my face. I close my eyes as my vision blurs, after a few moments I feel Jimin's arms wrap around me and pull me close to him. "Of course you matter," the mochi says, his voice soft and calm despite me desperately trying not to break down. "You're our everything, the missing piece to our soul that we longed for all these years."

"What Hoseok said he didn't mean, and he sure as hell doesn't speak for the rest of us. You aren't worthless, useless or anything like that for that matter. You've got so much talent, you're an amazing singer and artist. You can dance really well despite not having much training, not to mention you can kick ass when you need to."

"You can make amazing food, something that some of us can't do. Whenever you smile it's like the whole room starts glowing like the sun, it's so infectious that I can't help smiling too. You're always putting others before yourself, both us and the fans love you not just for your talent or your beautiful looks. We love you for your kind heart, your sense of humor, everything."