Dick Grayson Trash

Why is Bruce Wayne Shitposting?

-I'm posting this around 2 am, because I'll be spending most of the day with my buddy-

"Bruce, We need to talk about your social media presence." Thirteen year old Dick Grayson stated seriously.

Bruce looked up from working on some legal document or other. "What about it."

Dick inhaled. "There's tweets, and then there's Mom tweets, and you are firmly in mom territory."

"What is that supposed to mean?" His foster father asked.

Dick rolled his eyes, he was going through a bout of teenage sass. "I mean, I'm dying of second hand embarrassment! you tweet like an old person! Who even uses twitter? At least it's not facebook..."

Bruce decided to humor him, leaning forwards on his desk. "What do you propose I do?"

"Well, Sir," Dick straightened up. "I propose, that you let me have control of your twitter for at least a week..."

Bruce hummed thoughtfully. "No."

"What? Why?"

Bruce smirked at the kid, glad he came in to distract him from his work. "Just because I trust you with my life doesn't mean I trust you with my social media influence."

"But your social media is SO Boomer-ish! you NEED to be more hip!"

"Do I?"

"Yeah! you're like someone's mom!"

He chuckled at his foster son. "Dick, close the door on your way out."

Dick left the study, leaving the door open an inch. Bruce never closed his door properly, so he wouldn't either. He thought for a bit, heading to his room; He could hack social media accounts! Bruce only went on twitter, like, once a week, he wouldn't even notice. Besides, it was for Bruce's own good.

After briefly hacking into Bruce's account (Which was SUPER easy), he began planning his first post. It couldn't be too out there, he needed to ease into it. finally, he decided on:

"People sometimes say 'Bruce, you don't have problems, you're rich'.
And they are absolutely correct"

He knew Bruce one of the most known men in Gotham, he gave it a few before checking the replies. they were mostly either confused, or angry; a perfect festering place for comedy.

Day Two

Bruce still didn't know, and Dick wasn't going to tell him. however, he had invited Barbra over to conceptualize tomorrow.

in the meantime, he decided to post something controversial:

"British people really do B like: 'bisCuits'."

Dick couldn't look at Alfred correctly for the rest of the day. He didn't know how the butler would feel about his shitpost, and he plan not to find out. 

Day Three

Barbra arrived early, She's spent the night reading each and every reply and laughing her ass off. 

"Okay, it's day three, we've already stirred up some controversy, what next?"

Barbra thought for a second. "It needs to be sophisticated, intelligent, and it needs to top the last two. Which will be tough..."

Dick nodded seriously. "We need to conceptualize."

"I feel like we should have a white board or something." Barbra stated.