Dick Grayson Trash

Fan Fiction

-Thank you to @Hazelfraser25 for the request :)-

-BIG THANK YOU TO @WallyandDick for writing this hilariously bad fanfic for me! Every word I read takes years off my life.-

The team was supposed to be working, but it was a warm, humid Thursday afternoon, and the atmosphere was far too lazy for work. 

"Hey, guys..." Artemis said cautiously.

"What?" Wally asked.

Artemis didn't reply for a bit, staring at her laptop screen in disgust and confusion. Suddenly, she shot up off the couch. "You guys NEED to see this." She put the computer down on the coffee table so the others could see. "LOOK!"

Wally did. "Why are you on Wattpad? Isn't that where all those shitty 1D imagines are from?"

"What's wattpad?" Conner asked.

"Trust me, you're going to want to see this." The blonde assured. They all put down their phones and leaned forwards to read what was on the screen.

"What the fuck?" Robin asked, concern and discomfort already settling in his stomach. 

"It's a fanfiction. ABOUT ROBIN."

"Wait, what's BirdFlash?" He asked, skimming over the description.

"Isn't that your ship name?" M'gann asked. Everyone turned to her. "I -ehh- saw it online. The Bird is for Robin; the Flash is for Kid Flash. People use it when they think you'd make a cute couple." She shifted a little, adding in a small voice: "At least I think that's that it means..."

"Okay M'gann, noted." Artemis agreed.

"Why would anyone ship us?" Robin asked. "We're both guys!"

"Yeah, and we're both under the age of consent! Robin is THIRTEEN!"

"Soo..." Artemis smirked devilishly. "Who else want's to read this sucker?"

"I'm not sure that's a good-" Kaldur was cut off by an enthusiastic Wally.

"Hell Yeah! Let's see how much the average Robin fangirl actually knows about us!"

"I don't have fangirls..." Dick protested. Wally put a hand over his mouth, shushing him, and began reading aloud.

Robin was on patrol with Batman. His leotard clinging to his body perfectly. You could see his perfectly toned abs and muscles through his suit. 

"EW EW EW EWEWEWEWEW" Artemis cringed. No one should be sexualizing her thirteen year old teammate like this. AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL HE'S SIXTEEN!

"Please stop." Dick begged, already dead inside from the first two sentences.

He had just saved a girl from being shot by a mugger. But little did Batman know that his little Birdie that he kept on a tight leash was going to see his speedster.

"IS THAT ME?"

"LITTLE BIRDIE?" Dick's voice came out like a squeak.

"Don't tell me," Artemis sneered. "the chick he saved was named y/n."

"What was up with that leash comment, what the fuck?"

"Wally, what are you implying you dirty- I thought it was a comment on Bats being over protective! Why did you have to say that?"

"It's fanfiction, I don't know what to expect!"

"Well I hope it's not that!"

Wally made a puking noise. Conner made an excuse and left, presumably just to destress from this nonsense. Dick was squirming uncomfortably in his seat and wanting to disappear.

Nimbly swinging between the buildings he let the cable go going into a roll. He ducked behind a dumpster and his a panel. All of a sudden a screen popped out. It had a key pad on it. Typing in the password K1Df@$hisB@3 a door appeared. 

"What does that even say? Kid Fl-at-sh is b-at three?" Artemis asked. "That's just a mess!"

"I dunno," Wally shuddered. "but it's the last time I ever want to hear someone call you 'nimble'. That made me so uncomfy."

"Oh, it made you uncomfy?" Dick asked, writhing where he was sitting between Wally and M'gann on the couch.

"Not gon' lie, the hidden door thing sounds pretty sick tho..."

Making sure know one was following him he went through. It led to a small corridor. At the end of the corridor there was a door. After repeating the password he went through. Robin immediately shed his costume. Finding it way too tight for his liking. 

"ToO tIgHt FoR hIs LiKiNg." Wally repeated, laughing.

"Who's writing... like this about a thirteen year old?" M'gann sounded horrified.

"This better not be smut." Artemis said suddenly, making the blood drain from all of their faces. "And if this is fetish smut about a thirteen year old, I'm out!"

"Did you put up a VPN? I NEVER want the league to find this." Dick said with a shudder.

Kaldur made an excuse to follow Conner's lead.

Quickly changing into his Kid flash Pyjama's he laid down on the bed that was in the room. 

"Unnecessary apostrophe." Wally remarked.

"That's you're only issue?" 

He was incredibly tired after the day of patrol. He then got a notification. His speedster was here. As he opened the door with his holo-glove a yellow blur appeared in the room. And their in all his glory stood Andrew Alock. Aka Kid Flash. 

"I'm sorry, WHOMST?"

"Hey, that's one thing," Artemis snorted. "They can't dox you..."

"Hey babe." Oh how Robin loved the sound of his voice. It was husky and beautiful.

Dick leapt up and smacked the laptop closed, his face burning bright red. Behind him, Artemis burst into laughter.

"Wally, on a scale from one to ten," She hiccupped from laughter. "How Husky and beautiful is you're voice today?"

Wally seemed to be finally catching on to why Dick wanted to die. "I can't believe that there is an actual, living person out there who wrote this."

"This needs to be taken down." Dick muttered. "I'll delete all the security camera footage, there must be NO TRACE that this EVER existed."

Artemis blinked. "Well maybe you can take down that one, but what about the others?"

All the blood abruptly drained from Dick's face. "There are others?"

-Can Y'all believe this is part 75???-