Two Ghosts (H.S.) [ON HOLD]

We're Both Stubborn, I Know

Author's Note: What are your thoughts on the last chapter? Do you think Harry was selfish for asking Cara to go away with him? What do you think Cara's going to decide to do? This chapter is a little bit shorter, but I didn't want to write a filler chapter for the sake of it. Hope that's okay. In other news, I'll have a chapter out on July 23rd to celebrate 1D day (so be sure to check it out if you're going to be staying up all day like I am).

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CARA

Look, I've thought about it a lot.

I've gotten several texts and calls from Harry throughout the week begging me to come with him on the tour. I've had several lunches with Grace where she not-so-slyly tried to push me to go. Even Charlotte is encouraging me to go and we don't even talk that much.

I think that's just because she wants her own room, though.

I've made flow charts and spreadsheets, pro and con lists to decide whether or not this is a smart decision for me. For most of the week, I've been sticking with the con side of the list, not seeing the positives to going on a tour with a group of people I don't know very well.

Because let's think about it.

On one end of the spectrum I shouldn't go because I'll miss out on a very valuable education that my mother is paying for. I won't see my family almost ever, except for when we're on the England leg of tour. I won't be home to do all of the things I like to do.

But then on the other end of the spectrum I'll have the opportunity to travel the world. I'll meet new people and see new things, get the chance to build on my relationship with the boys. I'll pretty much get a backstage pass to a band that's slowly but surely taking the world by storm.

And I'll be with Harry.

That's a lot to think about. A lot. And I've done a lot of thinking.

But I think I've come to the conclusion that I should go.

I have to let Harry know by tomorrow if I want to go, and I've literally been deliberating it every minute, every day of this week. But I think the conclusion I've come to is this could be my only chance at this amazing experience. I shouldn't let school get in the way of that. I have plenty of time to worry about what I want to do. And, like Grace said, maybe I'll find my passion while I'm there.

More than that, I feel like I should go for Harry. I know I've been supportive of this entire journey he's been on, but when he talked to me that day, I could see how badly he wants me to be there with him. Going on tour is a big deal, and it's a big change. I think having me there with him could make it an easier transition. And I care about him too much not to want to do that for him.

But like I said, I have to confirm that I want to go by tomorrow. And I haven't told my mum yet.

Throughout the week, I considered telling her about it several times. I thought maybe she could help me deliberate and make my choice. However, I felt like I needed to consider all of this on my own. I knew she'd only push me not to go.

The problem with that is I now only have one day to convince her of something I needed a week to convince myself of. And that seems like an impossible task.

My mum is one of the kindest people I know, truly. She's always been there for Grace and I, especially during the hardest time in our lives when we lost our dad. She's been supportive of us in every venture we've endured, and she's worked hard to provide a stable and happy life for us.

But the one thing my mum never budged on was university.

She never got to go to uni herself, and she's told us numerous times that she makes up for it now. Ever since we were little girls, my mum's dream for us is to have anything we want because we've worked for it through school. She says the only way to truly have options is through hard work and the opportunity at a solid education.