Dear Spencer Reid | 1

5. cereal killer

'Just friends' was beginning to feel like bullshit.

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You tended to Spencer's bruised knuckles, attempting to survive his adoring gaze.

"You know, y/n, no one's ever done this for me before." The way he spoke brought color to your cheeks. 

"No one? Not even your mom?" He shook his head, and you tilted your head as you frowned.

"Nope. She was too occupied with herself. She would always tell me that I would need to learn how to take care of myself."

You bit the inside of your cheek and put a hand on his arm.

"I'm so sorry Spence... You clearly deserve better." He glanced at your hand, then looked up to meet your eyes.

His hazel irises were hidden by his dilated pupils, the light reflecting in them as he opened his mouth to speak.

"You think so?" His voice cracked. You had never seen Spencer on the edge of tears before. It made your heart ache.

You reached up and tucked a wavy strand of hair behind his ear and rested your hand against his jaw, caressing the side of his face with your thumb.

"I know so." His eyes shimmered and he smiled sadly, leaning into your touch. He looked so vulnerable to you right now, so damaged.

He had been through so much, from his childhood to the wrath of Tobias Hankel. All of it was in the past, but you could see everything beginning to surface.

Spencer suddenly collapsed into your arms, sniffling.

"Spence-.." Your voice quivered as you spoke, the state of his emotions having you close to a break down as well.

"Spencer. You are the most complex and absolutely breathtaking human being I have ever met." His head and torso rested atop your lap, his arms tightly wrapped around your waist. You ran one hand through his hair soothingly, the other rubbing his back.

"You're so strong all the time, Spence. You're always the one that stores away their feelings, and I need you to know that you don't have to do that with me." As you spoke, you heard heart-shattering sobs coming from him, muffled by your body.

He shook softly and his grip around you tightened.

"It's o-it's okay! You're okay now Spence-r." You leaned back into the corner of the couch and pulled him by the underside of his arms, lifting his head to rest on your chest.

You felt a few tears of your own fall from your eyes, and you took a deep breath.

"Breathe, Spencer. Just breathe and let it all go. You're here with me, now. That's all that matters." You pressed your lips against the top of his head, and moved your hand to his face to stroke his jaw again.

You heard him beginning to take deeper breaths, the shaking and sobbing slowly coming to an end.

"... Am- I.." He sniffed. "I'm okay?"

"You're okay now. You're doing great. You're doing so well." He tilted his head up at you, and you couldn't help but smile widely. Another tear rolled down your cheek and you let out a short breath. "You're perfect."

His lips twitched into a small smile, closing his eyes as you brought both hands to his face.

You dragged your thumbs across his cheeks and wiped away his tears, feeling his heartbeat quicken against your lower torso.

You continued to cup his face, slowly rising to a sitting position. You brought your legs beneath you and rested on your knees, your foreheads pressed together.