Dear Spencer Reid | 1

19. secret's out

But, no matter how hard you wished and hoped, you always ended up in that basement.

—
It had been around three months since you had a vivid dream about Paul and Alexander.

It took some time to escape the sleepless nights.. The crying and screaming that woke Spencer when he slept over. You were embarrassed of the way you were acting- ashamed even. It wasn't only frustrating for you, too. Spencer had a death wish for Paul and Alexander since the moment you were taken.

He hated seeing you go through what he had to go through.

The first night that you got sleep without having a nightmare felt like the largest accomplishment ever. You even made Spencer celebrate with you. It was a night filled with champagne, sex, and sleep.

You had gone back to work after being able to sleep again, and felt better than ever.

Now, it was August. The time of the annual team retreat. You were so excited to be completely healed by the time the trip rolled around.

You planned to drag Spencer around with you to go shopping later today.

He owed you several items of clothing, and you really wanted to get some new bathing suits as well.

You sat at your desk, typing up a report of an old case. It was odd knowing someone wrote a report about the case you were quite literally involved in.

"Have you actually processed that we're going to Hawaii?" You glanced up at the voice beside you, realizing it was Penelope. "I seriously can't stop thinking about it. I'm so excited."

You chuckled. "I am excited too. I desperately need a normal tan. Not one of these funky watch tans." You showed the pale skin underneath your watch, and then took a sip of your lukewarm coffee. You cringed.

"God.. I need to warm this up. I guess I've been working longer than I thought." You got out of your desk chair and made your way to the break room, hesitating at the microwave as Hotch walked into the room after you.

"Y/l/n." He greeted, pouring the remainder of the coffee into his own mug. You pressed the 30 seconds button on the microwave and turned to face Hotch, putting on a smile.

"Hello. I'm almost done with that report you wanted.. The Fredrick Maryland case."

"Good, I'm looking forward to reading it. Have you been doing well? With the injuries and such?"

You flinched at the beep of the microwave, and pulled out your cup, moving out of the way so he could heat up his own. "I'm doing a lot better now. And I'm so glad I'll be able to go back into the field for future cases."

He nodded, and pressed the same 30 second button on the microwave. "That's good to hear." The brief silence was deafening. "Oh. I would like to talk to you after you're done today. Will that be a problem?" He opened the microwave and took out his mug, taking a small sip of his coffee.

"No problem. I'll be there." You watched Hotch leave the room, and let out a breath.

What does he want to talk about?

You nervously tapped your fingers against your cup and returned to your desk, placing the coffee down on your coaster.

It had to be about Spencer.

—
It was already the end of your work day. You spent most of your time today anxiously fixing things on your desk, and unnecessarily retyping sentences in your report.

You heard the quiet shuffle of Spencer's desk chair being pushed in. "Hey y/n, are you ready to go?" Spencer had worn his glasses to work today, and of course looked adorable. He adjusted them out of habit, and ran his thumb under the strap of his messenger bag.