WOSO Imagines

I'm A Mess (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

Day 1 of Ed Sheeran week. I know I haven't been updating this book much and I am well aware of all the requests that I haven't done but I will do that after this, I promise LMAO Hope y'all enjoy this week ✌

We're starting off with a little angst LMAO

"This is for your own good Y/n. You are not yourself and we both know this. Just... Just take this time to work on yourself and I will do the same thing."

I woke up with a cold sweat as I started panting, that horrendous night once again coming back to me.

It's been 3 months... 3 months since I lost the love of my life.

I know she was right though, I needed to really work on myself. We were becoming toxic for each other and it's doesn't really help that she's in Chicago and I'm in Portland, the only time we only get to see each other is during Nation Team camp but even then we are always busy and just constantly on the road.

It was better to end it while we both didn't do anything that could further break our relationship.

Right?

I sighed and stood up and glanced at Kelley, making sure that I didn't accidentally wake her up. I quietly stood up and walked over my bag where a flask was hidden and walked over to the balcony.

I stared at the moon as I played with the empty flask on my hand.

It's been like this since that day. I couldn't get through a day without alcohol in my system and I haven't really been getting enough sleep and it affected my play. Jill noticed it, my teammates noticed it, and she definitely saw it. The constant worrying glances she would send me proved it to me.

But it also made me hope that she still cared about me. That small glimmer of hope that keeps hurting me every time I see her smiling at her phone.

My teammates said that she was currently talking to someone and from what I hear, she likes this girl

But those fucking stares, this small hope and the optimistic side of me tell me that she still loves me. She deserves someone better though, I know as far as that.

I felt hurt and anger start surfacing once again as I threw the flask as far and hard as I could, groaning as I quickly realized what I did.

Well, there goes flask number 5, thank God I still emergency flasks in my bag.

I felt my head start to ache. I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was 3 in the morning. I decided to call it a night, mentally preparing myself to wake up at 7 in the morning, giving me only 4 hours of sleep. Definitely gonna be a long day tomorrow.

.

I internally cheered when Ash suggested that we would go to the bar tonight. I quickly dressed in presentable clothes and decked my face with makeup.

I grabbed my room key and head down to the lobby where the others were meeting us.

"Okay rules. Bitches should not be drunk crying or starting a fight okay? Jill would not be happy once she finds out that we got into trouble."

I glanced at Alyssa and saw her face once again showed on her face as a grin was placed on her lips.

I felt my blood boil as jealousy started making itself known once more.

I'm sorry Ashlyn, but no promises.

Tobin waltzed her way over to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"You okay Y/n?"

I nodded and faced forward, keeping the blank expression that I have had on me since 3 months ago.