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" 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒎𝒆? "
I cringed as I stood in front of Lupin's door my hand hovering over the door, I brought my hand down in a simple knock, 'come in!' The professor's familiar voice called. I pushed the door open and just to my luck Harry was also there, 'how can I help you Miss Potter' I screwed up my nose at the formality 'I uh I wanted to know my boggart, I assumed it would be the same as Harry's but then again maybe not' I swiftly moved my hand across the table 'Well you brothers is a dementor but I think you handle your pain differently' I nodded pursing my lips glancing a quick look at Harry who was also listening to him.
'You are aware of a patronus charm?' I nodded, 'Well it get's rid of dementors and that is what we are practising so if your boggart is a dementor than you are more than welcome to join us' I sent him a small smile and prepared myself for whatever my fear was. I had thought about it a lot recently, what was I afraid off what scared me most. I still hadn't figured out what it was which had quite obviously led me to Professor Lupin. The wardrobe opened and I took a heavy in take of breath waiting whilst the boggart flicked through the possibilities. I could see from the corner of my eye both Harry and Lupin leaning forward both as interested in what it was going to be as I was. After what felt like forever it finally stopped, the figure wasn't unfamiliar at all actually it was scary either.
'It's me?' The boggart copied everything I did, I lifted my hand and she well me I guess copied, I slapped it and cried in pain, yeah that hurt. 'I'm not afraid of myself, that's stupid!' The professor chuckled, 'maybe your own power' I turned to him and the boggart did the same, 'My power doesn't scare me actually to be quite honest I'm proud of it so this is ridiculous' I laughed this was so stupid. 'I'm not scared of myself this was an idiot idea' I growled pushing the boggart back in and heading to the door. 'y/n wait' I turned round facing the two of them. 'what' I spat terribly bitter. 'stay' This time it was Harry, 'Try doing the patronus charm with me' I suppressed a smile biting my lip back but nodding. I felt deep down I owed him this for yelling at him in front of everyone.
'Okay so you need to feel a memory where you were truly happy' I frowned and flicked through so many memories I had trying to find pure happiness, 'Harry you've already proved you can do it so we'll let you sister go' I took a step forward raising my wand, the boggart turned into Harry's fear; the dementor, I thought of the time I found out I was going to meet Harry 'Expecto Patronum!' My wand flickered with light but the spell didn't work, I frowned, 'y/n you need a stronger memory' I sighed and nodded flicking through my brain. Reading. With Draco, that night in the common room when it was just us 'EXPECTO PATRONUM' I yelled louder, A huge patronus of a bear came out of the end of my wand, fully sized on all fours, three butterflies flying around his head, 'extraordinary' The professor muttered.
I lost grip of the memory and the bear with the three butterflies, 'I uh' Harry clapped a little 'That was perfect I think it was clearer than mine it was-' Lupin cut him off 'It was unexpected I knew both of you had power but that, and your patronus' I frowned a little, 'Harry, what's yours?' He glanced at the professor as he nodded 'a stag, like m- well our dad' I sent him a very smile, that was sweet he had a connection with dad, don't get me wrong I was extremely jealous but I pushed that feeling down, 'well uh I need to go I have reading?'I said in an extremely questionable tone as I hurried out of the office. I made my way down the stairs to Hagrid's I felt terrible about what had happened with Buckbeak and how Draco had acted like it so I felt it necessary to do what I was about to.
'Y/n! Blimey er' what you doin down 'ere' I tried to turn my lips up into a smile, 'I uh wanted to see Buckbeak I feel horrible about it all' Hagrid sighed laying a hand on my shoulder 'It ain't nothin' to worry your little head' I grinned bigger 'I wanted to just sit with him if that was alright' Hagrid seemed excited that I wanted to spend time with the bird, he introduced it to me just like he had with Harry and Buckbeak seemed to have taken quite a liking to me. I place myself up against him and took out my book "The perks of being a wallflower" I stroked down his neck and begun to read. In the corner of my eye I saw the trio walking to Hagrid's but I ignored them and continued to read to the bird.'We accept the love we think we deserve' I knitted my eyebrows together, the quote hit hard and I wasn't quite sure why I wasn't in love and I hadn't ever felt love. oh. I had never felt love I was quite alone really other than the Slytherin's my frown deepened I wasn't missing romantic love I think I was missing, well family love. I had wanted a brother for so long and now it had turned out pretty rubbish. I was going to fix things with Potter I was- Buckbeak nudged my arm growling 'Fine'I huffed 'I'll keep reading.
