Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Revelation Chapter 11: Restraining Orders

Fade in to Tex beating Church with his old round body

Church: Ow. Ow! Ooow! Stop it! Tex, you are embarrassing me. Ow! Stop! Ah! Hey, are you gonna sit a -ah- you gonna help me or not? Stop it.

Ghost: This is fucking hilarious, why would we stop it?

Sarge: Naw buddy I think you got everything under control. We'll just hang back here.

Church: Won't it stop!

Grif: Yeah, you've got some catching up to do.

Church: The whole- stop.

Sarge: Hey, what's she beating him with?

Simmons: I think that was his old body.

Sarge: You mean he ain't a floatin' cue ball any more?

Church: Aw-

Sarge: That's too bad. Had a few more nicknames in my side pocket. We'll certainly miss you Lord Hackensack of the Roundalots.

Grif: Beating him with his own body? That doesn't seem physically possible.

Ghost: You don't know Tex then... now if you excuse me, I have something to do.

Ghost walks away

Caboose: Uh-hu- we have to do something.

Connie: All she's doing is beating him with his own body.

South: There is nothing to stop.

Sister: I wish she was still beating Grif.

Dhuka: But you have to admit, Honey was going to kick Tex's ass.

Connie, South, and Sister: Obviously!

Ghost: What are you talking about?

South: How you would have kicked Tex's ass.

Ghost: Ok.

FILSS: I am sorry, as I said, I cannot operate outside the bounds of my standard safety protocols.

Caboose: What if I said... pretty please.

FILSS: Private Caboose, is there a reason why you don't want to use one of the standard safety protocols? In this scenario, I would strongly recommend locking down the armor of any rogue unit.

Caboose: Wait you can do that?

FILSS: Of course. Armor lock is a standard safety feature since the Freelancer break in.

Caboose: Well why didn't you tell us that?

FILSS: Why would I need to tell the Director that? He wrote the protocol himself.

Caboose: Oh, right. Yes of course he did. Um Sheila, could you do the armor lunchable thing that you said?

FILSS: Certainly.

Ding dong

FILSS: Now initiating standard safety protocol. Armor lockdown in progress. All units, stand by for lockdown.

Tex becomes immobilized

Church: What- what's happening? Caboose what did you do to her?

Caboose: Yes! Yes! I did it! I am the biggest hero ever! I beat up the girl!

Unknown to him The girls were all glareing at him

Caboose: I feel like i'm being watched... Stop staring at me.