Secrets that Kill (boyxboy)

Family Ties

Nate stared up at the speckled pattern on his ceiling, trying to make sense of all the thoughts playing bumper cars in his mind.

He had almost gotten Amber raped. He had made Erik lose his best friend. He was lying to his mother. He was failing math. And, on top of it all, Erik had some creepy ass stalker that was following them around playing peeping tom on the both of them. God.

How was it that just this morning everything had seemed perfect, and by the end of the day his whole life had gone to hell? More like Amber had put a different spin on things. Not much had changed, to be honest. She'd just brought up all the shit he'd been carefully pushing to the back of his mind these past few weeks.

Except for the little bit about Amber almost getting raped, of course. Thank god that asshole Sean hadn't succeeded. If he had...gah, ,Nate couldn't even think about it. He still loved Amber, in a brother/sister way, and he always would. I mean, how could he not? They'd both grown up together. Hell, she practically was his sister, or the closest thing to it that he'd ever get. And he'd been treating her like crap.

Knock. Knock.

Nate flinched, glancing over at the door. Crap. There was no way his mother hadn't heard him and Amber's little spat. Which meant a whole lot of shit was about to hit the fan.

"Come in..." Nate muttered, knowing he really didn't have a choice in the matter but saying the words anyways.

The door creaked open, a tense look on Nate's mother's face as she stood in the doorway. Nate took note of the distance she made an obvious choice to put between them instead of actually coming into the room.

Nate's mother cleared her throat, her eyes darting shiftily from the floor to Nate and then back down again.

"So...Nathaniel. I think we may need to have a talk."

Nate felt his whole frame tense up, involuntarily holding his breath as he waited for her to continue.

"You and Amber had a fight."

She stated it as if she'd just told him she'd found a secret stash of dirty magazines between his mattresses.

"Yeah..."

"And, perhaps...a few things were said...by her. Lies, rather. In the heat of the argument."

Nate felt physically sick as he realized what she was trying to do. She was giving him a chance to deny it, a chance for the two of them to pretend like he was normal, to go back to the way things were before and live a lie every day. The desperation in her eyes told him that she needed him to reassure her that what she'd heard wasn't true, that it had all been a lie.

But she knew. She had to.

And she would rather have the both of them live in blatant denial than face the truth, face the fact that her son was gay.

He couldn't deal. Not after he had just lost his best friend. He couldn't lose his mother too.

"Yeah...she was lying." He'd never felt more low in his life. Not once.

Nate's mother let out a sigh of relief, forcing a tight smile.

"That's what I thought. I knew I hadn't raised my son like that."

Of course. Because if she had, then she'd have to recognize the fact that she'd failed as a parent, leaving her son defective, as she'd probably say.

Yup. Defective. Diseased. Disturbed. Take your pick. That was what he'd be to her if he admitted the truth.

He couldn't breathe, not here in this room with her. The air was too heavy. The room was too small. She was too close. And he was too weak. Bolting up, Nate grabbed his phone and headed for the door.