A Journey to Trust and Heal

20- Troubles on the way

I sat on my seat, thinking really hard to find a solution to my problem. There was still a lot of time for the lecture to begin as I had arrived too early today to evade the never ending questions of my Mother.

A loud noise broke me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see that Rudra had decided to plop down on the seat next to me instead of sitting in it like a normal human being.

I had flinched due to the suddenness of noise but looks like Rudra connected my startled form with uncomfortableness as he spoke in a concerned voice, "I made sure to keep certain space between us and didn't even sat on the same bench with you. Did I scare you? I thought it would be okay if I sat in a nearby bench instead sharing the same bench with you. This way we will be able to talk and you won't be uncomfortable either but looks like I was wrong".

"Don't worry, I am okay. I flinched because I was busy thinking about something and you came out of nowhere. And thank you so much for thinking about me and not trying to sit too close to me", I assured him.

"Oh! That's a relief. By the way, what were you thinking so deeply, that you got startled?", he asked after taking a breathe of relief when he was assured that he didn't cause any damage.

"Mom asked me to bring my friends tomorrow for lunch", I informed him sighing.

"So what's the problem in that? I will come tomorrow", he asked shrugging.

"She wants my friends to come, friends as in plural, more than one. Is this explanation enough or should I explain more?", I asked incredulously.

"Well that's a big problem. I mean you have only one day. Firstly no one will agree to become your friend and even if someone with a big heart like mine agrees, you just don't take someone to your home for lunch so early in friendship", he blabbered ignoring the heated glare I kept sending his way.

"If you are done with your rant, can we try thinking of some solutions?" I asked tried of his blabbering.

"The only solution for this is that you go and make friends", he said making me roll my eyes.

"Thank you so much for this valuable suggestion. There was no way, I would have been able to think about it on my own", I said sarcastically.

He narrowed his eyes at me and said, "Don't try to outsmart the only person who is willing to help you out. I can very well understand your sarcasm".

"Okay okay, sorry", I apologized raising my hands in a surrendering position.

"Hmmm, Those girls at the front, you did a group project with them, didn't you?", he asked while humming in concentration.

"Yeah, I did. So what?", I asked not understanding where he was getting at.

"Go and ask them. They aren't totally strangers as you have worked with them. Plus I have seen you waving at them sometimes so it means you haven't been rude to them like you were to me", he explained his mind blowing idea.

"But they are just acquaintances, won't it be awkward if I ask them to be my friend so suddenly?", I asked not sure about the idea.

"It's going to be sudden to anyone you ask. It's better with them as you are already acquainted with them. Do one thing, go and ask them if you could sit with them during break. Try talking to them and becoming their friend first, later on ask if they would like to come to your home", he said pushing me in their direction.

I took few steps forward but a second later, backed away in fear.

Even though males scared me, I could handle them somewhat by having pepper spray and pocket knife with me but girls were a totally another case for me. There was no way I could handle being near them, the guilt ate me alive.

I had tried so hard and even had panic attacks while working on the project. Becoming friends was a way higher level than that.

"I can't do it", I told Rudra pitifully.

His face turned soft and caring. "How about I ask them if we both could join them? I will help you at every step, just try to trust me", he said softly and went to talk with those girls.

Mom, why are you so hell bent in creating troubles for me.