A Journey to Trust and Heal

70- Another try

Important note:
All the methods mentioned in the chapters to cure Sia's problems and their results are fictional. Half of them are my imagination and other half is googled. So please Do Not try any of this. In case you have similar type of problem, please consult an elder and a doctor.
                          ~~~•~~~
Rudra's words had build a different sense of courage in me. I was still disappointed by my failure but I wasn't discouraged.

Giving up wasn't an option now. I would keep trying regardless of the result. Rudra was right, living my whole life in fear was not acceptable.

"Sia, dinner is ready", Ganga Tai's voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Coming", saying this I moved towards the dining table.

"Dammit!!" I face palmed.

"What happened?" Ganga Tai asked upon hearing me.

"Nothing just remembered something", I answered vaguely.

I was supposed to talk with Maitri and I totally forgot in my disappointment of failing the process. She didn't look like her usual self these days. Something was upsetting her. How can I forget something so important?

Nevermind, I would talk to her tomorrow without fail.

                          ~~~•~~~
Next Day:

"COME ON SIA, You can do it", Shanaya cheered, standing on top of the bench.

We all were at park as Jiya thought that a change of place may help.

Trio sat on a bench, a little faraway from us so as to give us space but also keep an eye on us.

Rudra and I were standing under a shade of tree. He stood still while I tried to minimize the distance between us.

This was to recognize how much close I could get without freezing and then try to minimize it.

"Don't move okay", I told him.

"Of course Sia. We already talked about it. I am not going to move. You are in control", he said or more like shouted to be heard as there was still a huge distance between us.

I moved hesitantly towards him. The space between us was quite a lot and I have managed to stand with him in less space than this but still my nerves were going haywire as I moved towards him.

Trio kept on cheering me as I slowly picked my pace.

Few curious bystanders asked what was going on but Maitri shooed them off saying that we were practicing for a play and to not disturb us.

Having crossed more than half of the distance, I stopped.

"Come on Sia, a little more", Maitri shouted cupping her hands near her mouth.

Hesitantly, I moved a few steps more. Now being at two hands distance from him, I knew that I had reached my limit.

"I cannot go further", I told them with a sigh.

"But...", Shanaya started to protest but Maitri stopped her.

"Don't rush her", she said and trio got down from the bench to come towards us.

"Now what?", I asked them.

"Wait a second", Jiya said and took out a measure tape from her bag.

Measuring the distance between us, she noted down on her diary.

"See I have noted today's distance. Everyday you will try to move forward, and we will keep track of it. I am sure slowly and steadily, you will be able to stand beside him", Jiya explained.

"That's a good idea. Yesterday we directly jumped into action and that abruptness scared her. By this method, she would slowly get used to being near", Rudra acknowledged the idea with a smile and we all praised Jiya for coming up with such a fantastic idea.

"Okay this is done deal. Now let's see if Sia can handle being near to you at a shorter distance than this if one of us is standing between you two", Maitri suggested.

We agreed and tried that too. I was actually comfortable if one of them was standing between us.

We tried 2-3 more ideas, not all were successful but still it was better than yesterday.

"Okay so how about we try.....", Rudra started but I interrupted him.

"I am done for today", I said mentally exhausted.

It may not seem much to the outsiders but it took lot of strength from me to complete each of their ideas.

"Alright, we will continue tomorrow", Rudra agreed straightaway, giving me a comforting smile.

"We have college tomorrow", Jiya said looking tensed.

"It's fine, we will just meet after lunch and practice till the dinner time. College is just starting, so we won't have too much assignments for now. Later, we will see how to adjust", Rudra said and looked at us for confirmation.

We all agreed as it was the best possible idea.

Everyone waved bye and started to leave for their respective homes.

"Maitri", I called her out as she was about to leave the park.

Along with her, everyone turned upon hearing my voice.

"I just want to speak about something for college, you all go", I waved them off.

They all left while Maitri waited with raised eyebrows.

"What is it?", she asked in a curious tone.

"You tell me, what is it? The spark in your eyes has disappeared. More than once, I have caught you looking upset. What's wrong?", I asked directly without beating around the bush.

Her eyes widened upon being caught.

"Wh...what are you....what are you talking about?", she asked stammering, giving away the fact that something was wrong.

"The Maitri I know is a straightforward person. She doesn't steal eyes, she doesn't hide. The Maitri I know, speaks her mind even if it hurts others", I spoke with a calm yet strong voice.

She sighed dejectedly, "Alright, I agree something's up but it's better I don't tell you. You are already going through too much and I don't want to hinder the little happiness you have".

"So it's related to me. I think it's better if you tell me before I come up with thousands of assumptions about how I have hurt you", I said being truthful.

I knew something was going wrong but I didn't knew that I was reason behind Maitri's sadness.