A Journey to Trust and Heal

48- Hurt

We all ate our breakfast at a pace that would even put a rocket into shame. Hurriedly finishing our breakfast and waving bye to Ganga Tai, we all left the house.

We were just a few steps away from Rudra's house when I noticed that the trio weren't with me. Turning back, I saw them standing still not moving forward.

"What happened? Why did you stop? Let's go", I asked them to move forward but they motioned me to come few steps back, where they were standing.

I groaned, not understanding their antics but still went back to them.

"Why did you stop walking? Seriously guys, I am already tensed. Don't make the matters worse", I said in frustration.

"Sia, from here you need to go alone", Jiya said making me look at her open mouthed.

"How....How can you do this? I am already scared. Why are guys leaving me alone? You have to come with me", I said flabbergasted with her response.

Jiya sighed but calmly explained her point, "Look Sia, you and Rudra have different kind of bonding. He won't say anything to you in front of us. So you have to go there alone".

After Jiya explained her side, Maitri came forward, putting her hands on my shoulders, she spoke, "No one is leaving you alone. I know Rudra won't hurt you but by any chance you need us, just call us. The whole time you are in there, just know that we are just a call away".

"Or a miscall away", Shanaya chirped in between.

"We will be standing outside his house, waiting for you. All four of us would leave together. Promise", Jiya spoke.

I nodded, giving them a small hesitant smile and moved forward to win my best friend back.

                           ~~~•~~~

I rang the doorbell and waited anxiously for him to come out.

"Sia?", Rudra called out in shock.

It was clear from his appearance that he was crying. The red eyes, faded tear marks on his cheeks and his disheveled state was enough to give proof of his sadness.

"Can I ...Can I come in? Please", I asked in a low voice, not having enough courage to speak in a normal tone.

"Go to your home, Sia. I don't want to say something that would hurt you and at this moment no nice words can come out of my mouth", he said in a tired voice.

"You don't have to speak nicely. You can even yell at me. Just...Just give me one chance to explain. Please only one chance. I know you hate me and I promise to never show you my face after this but just hear me out once", I pleaded, crying in desperation

"I don't hate you, Sia", he said rubbing his face.

"Come inside and please stop crying", saying this he moved aside.

Although it was my first time at his house, I didn't bother looking around.

"I totally understand that it is not possible for you to befriend me after knowing that my father is a criminal but....", I started only to be interrupted by Rudra's shout.

"How low do you think I am? Seriously? I don't care about your father and his wrongdoings. What I care about is your lack of trust upon me. Your constant lies are the reason behind my pain", Rudra spoke loudly, looking at me in disgust for even thinking that he left me because of my father.

I was shocked to know that he didn't care about me being a Criminal's daughter. The whole time I was so sure that this secret would make my friends against me but none of them reacted the way, I had expected them to.

"Rudra, you need to understand my fear. All the people in my old town, all my previous friends not only left me but also taunted and outcasted me for this very reason.

There was no way, I could tell you about my real identity when the sole reason behind coming to this town was hiding it.

I didn't want to be known as the daughter of a criminal.

Along we that, I never wanted to lose the friendship by blurting out the truth. You all have become a huge part of my life, especially you Rudra", I tried to explain my side as much as I could.

"A huge part of your life? I am special to you? Because all you have done is making me feel like a stranger to you, Sia", Rudra said snorting.

"But...", I tried to speak.

"Please Sia, you made it clear that you didn't trust me. I understand your need to hide your identity. When we first became friends, I was so sure that you were hiding something major and I was OKAY with it.

But I thought as our friendship grew, you became comfortable with me. Stupid of me, to think that you opened up to me.

You didn't have to lie, Sia. You could have just said that you aren't ready to answer my questions and I would have never bugged you again.

How am I your best friend? when you didn't trust me even once", he spoke with hurt clear in his voice.

I gulped audibly upon hearing him and spoke desperately, "Okay, I agree. It's my mistake. Can you give me one last chance? I promise to trust you fully from now onwards".

He looked at me with a sad smile and said, "Trust doesn't come that easily. Even if you by any chance manage to trust me, it's of no use. Because I have lost all my trust in you.

I would always keep wondering, if you are speaking the truth or are you lying.

I don't think, I would ever be able to trust your words, Sia".

"You would never see fake Sia again. I promise to never lie", I tried my best.

"You say, I won't see the fake Sia again. But do I even know the real Sia?

What parts of you were real and what all was fake?

Were you ever real with me or were you always pretending?

How do I differentiate among the fake and real?", he asked shaking his head in despair.

I stood there, crying silently upon hearing him.

Not for the hurt, his words had caused but for the pain I had given him.