Tutoring My Ex

26 | Almost Is Never Enough

[ LUCA'S POV ]

Humans made it a habit to bring up the 'what ifs'.

What if they had not done this but this instead. What if they had walked down a different path, what if things had turned out just like they anticipated them to? People torture themselves with these unnecessary thoughts, all while fate lies ahead with alternatives that really were not of such nature because the road to success causes one to go awry regardless at some point. They ponder them tirelessly, only to realize in the end that it didn't matter because what was done was done. The past will always be the past. It was that simple, yet people still contemplated and caused themselves pain with the possibility of what if - However, in my personal experience, there was something much worse.

There was another category, similar to the what ifs, called the 'almosts.' Almosts were on another level of being unbearable because they tease you by getting so heartbreakingly close to what you wanted. They were in your reach, at the tip of your finger, only to disappear before you like a phantom in the night.

But then came another factor into the play.

It was reality.

That caused the wishful thinking to be thrown and burnt into a pit of flames kindled by misery. Because of those ignorant 'what ifs' the truth hurt more when coming down from cloud nine.

So yeah, I was not a big fan of reality. But what I was even less amused by were the 'almosts'. And witnessing as my almost gazed at me with tear stained cheeks and regret written all over her face, the air wrapped its way around my throat, suffocating me.

How did such a lovely night get tainted like this so quickly?

Let's rewind to an hour ago where Della sat disquieted in the chair of Gabriel's salon.

My elder cousin was busy curling the ends of her hair that gave off a faint glow of red.

Coming back to the city where he grew up after leaving for so long didn't exactly bring any excitement or overdue longing. Gabriel explained that he didn't feel it when he first came back after years of studying abroad in college, and he still couldn't feel it when he returned after spending those few years away to chase his dream. Of course, he still loved the city, for the many memories he had of it while growing up. But visiting or residing in it always meant facing our family, his parents, and mostly, his obligations that were set out for him since the day he was born.

It didn't help that he failed to walk on the 'normal' path when it came to his sexuality either.

"I thought you said he was your friend." Della accused, her lips drawing attention as Gabriel applied the tint onto them. I willed my fists to unfold at the sight of such touching between her and someone that wasn't me. I knew deep down the touch was harmless and void of any ulterior motives. 

Deep, deep, deep, down that is...

"He is." I propped my hand under my chin, gazing at her through the large mirror.

Her eyes caught my reflection and my heart stopped at the twinkle in them.

It seemed she was in competition with the stars tonight.

Though the winner was predetermined in my heart.

"A friend is a friend but family, family is different."

"Your family can be your friend, Della." 

Were her eyelashes always that long?

Scoffing at my reasoning, she jutted out her chin. "Do you agree with that?"