Breaking the Code

Crumbling

FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! The moment we've all been waiting for! Enjoy my darlings!! Loves!!

Sang

After finally convincing Dr. Green I don't need him to give me a check up; I'm able to breathe a little easier. North brought me an amazing tuna sandwich that I have to repress the urge to moan around. I don't know if it's the hunger or if the sandwich is really that good. The juice stings my throat a little but also tastes amazing.

When I started eating the guys all went back to playing some racing game on the T.V. I watch quietly as Kota repeatedly crushes all of them. Everyone takes it well though and keeps laughing. The sound is so bright and normal that I find myself drinking the juice slowly just to stay a little longer.

When I'm about halfway done with the glass I hear a knock on the door and freeze. What if it's Mrs.? Has she figured out where I am and come to punish me? What if she knows I'm over with a bunch of boys? There's no way I would survive the punishment if she knew.

Draining the last of the glass I slowly stand to slip out. I doubt I'll be lucky enough to make it out unnoticed but I can probably make it out quickly. Placing the glass on the coffee table I start to inch my way towards the door. I spin and start to move faster when I see something that makes me freeze in place.

Crawler. What is he doing here? Neither of us move. The room goes silent as I stare into his eyes. I imagined this moment so many times but I never thought I would want to run away. Everything Mrs. has called me over the years comes barreling through my head and I have to close my eyes.

I feel tears start to well up but I refuse to let them fall. Opening my eyes again I take in the rest of the room. He brought Brandon with. A deep sadness seeps into my bones. I know he's here to tell me to stay away again and I don't want to hear it. Locking my eyes on the door over their shoulders I start breathing slowly. Stay calm Sang.

A choking rasps emits from Corey's throat. "Hacker?" I face him again and see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. My own eyes start to water again at the sight. I slowly nod my head yes while holding the tears back. I won't cry in front of these people. I won't cry. I won't.

Corey takes a step towards me and I feel the first tear fall. I move backwards so he isn't any closer. If he comes closer I'll break. Nothing good will happen if he gets near me. I force my mask into place and the tears in my eyes dry.

The pain that flashes across his face almost cripples me. I hate that I'm hurting him but I have to. A little pain now is better than more later. "Don't." I whisper. I know he heard me though. I know they all did. I turn towards Brandon. "I tried. I really did." I see a pain flash across his sad eyes before I close mine.

I'm prepared for yelling. I'm prepared for him to swing at me. I'm not prepared for Brandon to hit his knees and start crying. I'm not prepared for him to apologize. I'm not prepared for the panic that laces his voice as he begs me to forgive him for what he said. That he didn't know and only wanted to keep Corey safe. That he is so sorry. That's what happens though.

I stare at Brandon for a solid minute as tears stream down his face. A small piece of my mask starts to flake away at the pain I see in his eyes. One piece of the puzzle clicks into place as I watch how he reacts to seeing me. One line of the code is broken.

My legs can't hold me up any longer and I collapse into a kneeling position. I'm causing these people pain. Staring into Brandon's eyes I feel my resolve crumbling. "I never blamed you. I would have done the same. There is nothing to forgive." Corey lays a hand on his twin's shoulder as my eyes start to fill with a new wave of tears.

The look of relief at my words is enough to make my watery eyes fill more. Just as tears are about to fall I squeeze my eyes shut. No. I won't let anymore fall. When I open them again I lock eyes with Corey. My Crawler. My light in everything. He's not mine though.

Forcing myself to stand I say the words I know are true. "I'm not good Crawler. I'm not someone you should be around. You'll end up hurt. Please just forget about me." My eyes plead with him as I walk closer. I have to pass him to get outside. I force my now broken mask back into place and plead with everything in me that he lets me go. A small, tiny part of my heart doesn't want him to though. I try to tamp that piece out to no avail.

I'm almost past him when he grabs my arm loosely. The move causes me to flinch but also to freeze. The warmth of his hand is addicting. I look up at his face and feel all of the oxygen leave the room. The force of his gaze is literally taking my breath away.

"Sang. Hacker, I can never forget you and I promise. I swear on TEA that you are the furthest thing from bad for me." Tears start streaming down my face before I even realize that there were any in my eyes. Everything he said soothes a part of me I didn't realize needed soothing. His hand still on my arm warms me and I feel myself crumbling. The walls I've built are falling around me.

"Please Sang. Let me help you. Let me help you break the code. Let me show you what it's like on the other side." I nod my head yes and he envelopes me in his arms. I feel safe for the first time. Crawler's light is warming me from the inside out and his arms are holding me together while I melt. I whisper one word before wrapping my arms around him. "Okay." I don't plan on letting go soon.