Breaking the Code

I Have To

Hey babes! I just want to say that I love love loooove when you guys comment helpful and positive things! They make my day. As long as everyone keeps things nice I'm so so happy. I hope you enjoy this. There is a bit more dark in this chapter. Loves!

Sang

I was worried about Luke sneaking in with me as he doesn't know the house but I shouldn't have been. He is silent and only moves where I do which is great. As soon as we made it into my room I snuck him into the dingy attic space in my room. On silent feet I raced downstairs to check on Mrs. I have to know what state she's in today.

I don't want anyone in my bedroom. I don't want anyone to look at me with pity. I know it isn't much but i don't care. My bed may be old and not the best but it's better than some. I may not have much but others have it worse. Every time I start to feel upset for myself I keep thinking that others have it worse. This just makes the fact that I can't handle it worse though. If they can take worse then why can't I take this?

Carefully poking around each corner is nerve wracking. I've been scared in this house but never nervous. I just can't risk Mrs. finding Luke. If he was to get hurt because of me I would never forgive myself and his team wouldn't either. I've seen how they protect each other.

The Blackbourne team is what every group wants to be. They support, protect and love each other beyond belief. I've watched them rally around each other through so much. No matter who was having issues at the time they always, always were there for each other. I only hope to have one friend like that. One person who will support me through everything. I doubt anyone ever will though.

Once Crawler figures out everything I've done it will be over. A creaky floorboard knocks me out of my head. I just saw Mrs. asleep who is moving around? Following the sound on silent feet I watch as Luke opens the door to my nightmare. Rushing over I keep my eyes on the floor so as not to see what's in there. I quickly shut the door and usher a stunned Luke away.

I know what he saw. I know it well and no matter how much time passes I know I will always have the image of that room burned into my head. The chains on the wall, the splintering wood table in the middle of the room with stains that will never leave. Most of all though I will remember the spiked rope attached to the high metal cot. That cot will always be in my head.

When I get him back into my room his coloring is still paler than normal. I know he wants to ask what that room was but I don't want him to. I don't want to lie and I don't want to explain. Luke goes to open his mouth but movement further in the house stops him. The fear I feel slips through my walls just enough that I know it's clear on my face.

Our eyes lock and Luke dives back into the attic space. All I can think about is making sure Mrs. stays away from there. He shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have let him. My entire body is frozen in place listening for the next sound. The good thing is that Mrs. isn't quiet so she can never sneak up on me. Even in sleep I can wake before she gets me.

The air around me is buzzing with tension. Whenever I'm this focused I can always feel more than normal. Sounds are louder, smells more potent and my skin crawls with pent up energy. I know this isn't healthy but it doesn't matter. My body is so used to it that when my skin isn't buzzing it feels weird.

A yell from the kitchen rattles my already frayed nerves. As long as Luke stays safe I'll be fine. Before I go to her I glance at the clock on my radio I'm not allowed to use. An hour and a half left. They'll be here and Luke will be safe then. Only ninety more minutes.

I pad down the stairs repeating this to myself. I just have to keep her busy until then. I know that if she tries to hurt me where he can see Luke will jump in. I can't let him do that. I have to make sure no one else is touched by the hell around me. I have to work around the system in place. This is what I do all the time. I can do this.

Mrs. stands in the kitchen, her normally watery eyes burning with a deep hatred. This isn't a new look but it never means anything good.Every muscle in my body is prepared to defend myself even though I never do. I have to today, to protect Luke.

"So the whore returns! Don't think I didn't notice that you were gone." A nasty sneer paints itself across her face. She might actually be pretty if she took care of herself. The matted, greasy brown hair is so similar to Marie's that it could look nice. On top of that her features are sharp. If it wasn't for who she was Mrs. would be pretty.

I still every muscle of mine as she steps closer. Don't move, don't react and this will be over soon. The more you give her the worse it is. Her hand snakes out and grabs my upper arm hard. Her nails dig into my skin with a bruising force. I know she'll draw blood but this is nothing compared to most days.

"Were you out ruining lives like your mother? Of course you were! Every time I am forced to see you my life gets worse!" The hand not holding my arm swings and punches me in the abdomen. My muscles are already tense and do so just a bit more. The impact hurts but not as much as if I was slacked. Don't react.

I hear a small creaking from upstairs and have a horrible feeling. I can't have Luke come down here and see this. He'll try to step in and she'll hurt him, maybe kill him. My eyes flick up to Mrs. at the wrong moment as she's looking at me. The feeling of her hand slapping my neck is jarring.

"You do NOT look at me!" Closing my eyes I mutely nod. How do I get myself out of this before Luke tries to? With a centering breath I break her hold on my arm. Pretending to stumble so it looks more natural I flex that portion to get the blood flowing again. Her grip is extremely tight and the slight tingling in my fingers would be distracting if this was a new feeling.

Lifting my head I face her burning cold eyes.

I have to keep Luke safe.

Seventy-five minutes.