verse thirty-five

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I need air. Now.

"Damon... I think I should go," I whisper. I want to sit up, but Damon holds me tight.

"Stay," he whispers. I look at him straight in the eyes, and I can't say no to those orbs.

He pulls me against him and buries his head in my neck.

"Just stay," he whispers. The thought of me feeling something for him distracts me from the fact that something has changed about him.

I'm in love with him.

The thought is so absurd, it's something I can't understand. But that is impossible, right? I can't feel anything for the Devil, right?

He is heartless and does unspeakable things. How is it that I can feel something for a monster like him?

I can't get any air.

My lungs shut down and my throat squeezes together. His arms tighten around me and his smell suffocates me.

"Damon, I have to go," I whisper. He grunts but loosens his hold on me. I get out of his hold and wipe the tears away. 

Just the thought of my wings causes them to well up again. I get up from the bed and walk to the door, but am stopped by a grip on my wrist.

"How do you think getting home?" he asks. He's right. Should I walk home?

"I'll act like a gentleman. Angel, hold on tight," he says. I frown but don't have much time to think as he wraps his arms back around me.

"Close your eyes," he whispers in my ear. I do as he says, and then I feel like I'm falling through a hole. The air plays with my hair, and we're surrounded by clouds.

And then I feel the ground under my feet again. When I open my eyes, I see that we're in my room.

"Thank you," I whisper. "No problem," he smirks. I realize something.

"It's been a month since I'm here," I say. He nods. "Can you handle another one?"

"Of course, I already know Hell, there's nothing that can surprise me," I say. He raises his eyebrows.

"Be careful what you say, sweetheart. What you've seen, is nothing," he says.

I frown. "What do you mean?" I ask. "You'll find out," he winks. Then he takes a step towards me.

"Bye, Angel," he says and strokes my cheek.

He leans in and presses his lips against my forehead.

Surprised at the gesture I stand still and watch how he disappears into thin air. I stumble over to my bed and let me fall on top of it.

Everything is so confusing. Hell is confusing.

I just want to go back.

In silence, I pray to God to repair my wings, so I can fly back to Heaven.

I can handle another month in Hell, but that's it. A month of misery, pain, coldness, and loneliness.

"Katharina, I'm outside."

I sit up and look out of the window. I see Moonlight standing by the river, and normally I would've walked towards the window and stretch my wings, but I can't. A pang goes through my chest. My wings...

I have to do my best not to cry. I walk out of my room, out of the apartment, and outside.

I rush downstairs, to the back of the building where Moonlight is.

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