The Dangers Of The Damaged ✔︎

06 ↝ Survivor

"Said you hated the world,
But somehow you liked me,
could have looked at you all night long,"
- How Can I Forget by MKTO

• ⚠️TW: mention of sexual assault ⚠️ •

Those moments, when things you've spent weeks, months, years, trying to forget comes crashing down onto you, things you've tried so hard to pretend like they never happened, every single thing that you've kept pushed right to the back of your mind, just comes raining down on to you all at once and you just sit there, feeling numb and too much in pain to even cry. A feeling I know all to well.

That's how I feel right now, as I watch Nessa's expression morph into one of complete horror, and her chest heaves as she draws in a sharp breath. She tenses her jaw and swallows, remaining silent, her eyes never leaving mine, silently urging me to continue.

"It was at a party." I say, slowly. "And he was one of my mates."

I squeeze my eyes shut again as flashbacks erupt into my brain. Tears pool behind my eyelids, and I try to contain myself. My body jerks back slightly when Nessa reaches over and wraps me in a tight hug, catching me by surprise. I inhale her flowery perfume, my body relaxing slightly, letting the tears flow as I cry softly into her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers. "Thank you for telling me, you're so strong."

Her words make me cry more, her thoughtful words hitting me like a wave. She pulls away and cups my face, thumbs wiping under my eyes.

"You're not alone, I'm here for you. And it's not your fault okay?" I could see tears brewing in her own pretty eyes. "I'm here and I will help you and listen to you however you want me to. And I will fuck up any son of a bitch that touches you."

I let out a soft chuckle at her last sentence. "Thank you so much, Nessa. No one has ever told me these things."

It's true. Only my dad and brother know about what happened, I didn't want anyone else to know.

Nessa smiles softly. "God, you're so strong. I'm so proud of you. You're a survivor, Alex."

I smile at her back through my tears, her words leaving me speechless. I'm so grateful for her.

"If you don't mind me asking," She asks, looking at me cautiously. "What happened to him?"

I lower my gaze to our hands that are tightly woven together. "I don't know. He disappeared. I woke up the next morning, and he was gone. His family had no idea where he was, and he was just gone. The police had no luck tracking him down, they think he left the country."

Nessa shakes her head, anger flashing in her tear filled eyes. She doesn't say anything as she wraps me in another hug, and I relish in her comfort, feeling a small weight lift off my shoulders.

✢  ✢   ✢

"Hey Alex," Kye smiles, throwing an arm loosely around my shoulder. "How have you been?"

I return his smile. I've learned that Kye and Leo are very comfortable and affectionate with the girls they are close with, and that includes me, Kiara and Nessa. It took me a while to get used to their friendly touch, but now I don't mind at all.

"Pretty good. We have that quiz coming up tomorrow in Art History." I crinkle my nose, feigning dread.

"Oh crap, I completely forgot about that. I'm so not ready." He grumbles as we trudge through campus. I've just left my Psych lecture and I bumped into Kye on the way to drawing class, which we have together.