✓ epiphany ━━ cedric diggory

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

An eighteenth birthday. Supposedly meant to be one of your most important. And purely because you can now legally drink and your childhood teenage years are officially meant to be over. You're meant to begin adulthood. For me, at this age, a birthday is a quiet day. I didn't feel any older, so why should I know be classed as an adult? It felt like a normal day, even to me. I may have actually believed that if it weren't for the newly decorated dorm, and Ava and Spencer, fencing me into my bed, party horns in hand, forcing me to no longer be fast asleep.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" the two of them yelled in unison, at the sight of my two eyes, fluttering open ever so slightly.

I yawned, "wow, thanks guys." I sat up to see the sunlight shining under the door and golden rays, flickering through the curtains. It was a stunning morning. I guessed that was a good sign for a good day.

"Happy eighteenth, Y/N." Millicent said.

"Happy birthday!" Adrian smiled.

"Have a great day." Miles wished me.

I was showered with birthday wishes as I stepped into the Slytherin common room and was surprised by the amount of people that cared. That made me remember that Cedric may not have remembered. As I thanked everyone and opened a few gifts, I constantly tried to wash away the thought, begging for it not to be true. But surrounded by people I loved and frankly astonished at how many that was, I forgot for a moment.

"Thanks guys. This is incredible."

The great hall seemed to me as if it were more cheerful. And maybe that was because I was too. I never expected for a birthday to make me this happy, but for some reason today, it did. 

I took a seat at our usual spot at the far end of the snake's table and stared in awe at the food before me. The food that I saw everyday and today was no different. But everything seemed more appealing to me. I guess I am contradicting myself here. I may not feel any older and today is technically just a normal Saturday. But by how the day has been going so far, I must have changed my views on birthdays.

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There was something about the snow providing warmth. Sure, in order to endure it, you have to layer your clothes and wear things like hats and gloves. But there was something about winter and the driving blizzard, bitter wind, biting and stinging my skin, that reminded me of home, the fireplace, a hot cocoa. Some may enjoy spending their birthdays in summer, laying in the blazing sun, but me, I was perfectly happy with having mine in early December. 

Hogsmead was a particularly magnificent place at this time of year. The snow was fallen perfectly and was a sheet of brilliant white for the footsteps of people to imprint in. It was, shortly put, a winter wonderland. 

The three of us had spent almost the whole day here; walking, arms linked, sharing laughter and smiles. In my opinion, the perfect day. 

The three broomsticks was a crowded place. But that was what made it so enjoyable to be in. Everyone in the room had a large grin on their face and it was a community. We were sat, consuming our second glass of Butterbeer each, sat in a leather booth, in the corner of the pub.

"Have you seen Cedric yet, Y/N?" Ava asked, as she took another sip.

I shook my head, "I'm sure I'll see him later."

"It's 2pm, Y/N. Don't you think he would have at least wished you a 'happy birthday' by now?"

"Well he's busy then." I defended.

"You don't think he's..." Spencer started.

"He has hasn't he?" Ava said. I shrugged. "Oh, Y/N, I'm sorry."

"It's okay honestly. He has a lot to think about at the moment."

"Stop making excuses for him, Y/N. The tournament can't be the only thing on his mind all the time."

"I know. You're right Spence."

"Well, you've got us." Ava smiled, in an attempt to distract me from Cedric.

I nodded, smiling back at her. Despite their efforts, I still hoped it wasn't true.

•·················•·················•

Seen as he apparently wasn't going to approach me, I decided it best to talk to him. I walked over to his group in the courtyard, chuckling away as per usual. 

"Oh hey Y/N. I thought we weren't studying till later?"

"Uh yeah, about that. I was just wondering if you still weren't free at all today?"

"Can't sorry. Cho asked if I could tutor her. She needed some help with potions."

"Cho? Chang?" he nodded, "the Ravenclaw? The smartest girl in our year? She needed help with potions and she asked you?"

"What's so weird about that?"

I huffed. I was annoyed at this point, "Ced, I've sat next to you in potions for almost two years." he gave me a look, "you're crap."

This caused him to furrow his eyebrows and a few of his mates to laugh. "Well sorry that she asked me and not you, miss potions master."

I clenched my fists slightly and raised my voice, "that's not the poi-" I stopped, and tried to calm myself by taking a deep breath in. "Never mind. I'll see you later." I whipped my hair and as I walked away, I felt the tears struggle to stay back. 

I hid myself in a small hallway in the middle of the corridor and slumped down the wall. The tears burst out like water from a dam, spilling down my face. The walls that had done so well up until now to hold me up, make me seem strong and confident, just collapsed. Like that. 

I had never felt like this and right now, I didn't know what it was. I knew that it wasn't just the fact he forgot, but the fact I still felt like a burden to him. That if he wasn't this champion or celebrity that everyone saw him as, if the 'fame' hadn't got to him, he wouldn't have been so self-involved. 

I wiped what felt like the reminder of my tears from my now soaked face. As my sobs stopped, the silence was broken by a soft voice, beckoning to me.

"Y/N?"

•·················•·················•

i hate making ced the bad guy and i feel like all of you are going to think this is an overreaction but like i didn't want him to cheat on her cause i wanted it to be a happy ending and if that happened, they WOULD NOT have gotten back together, no matter the circumstances, because i am a serious feminist and i, WE, have more self-worth than that ladies xo

speaking of feminism.

i am appalled by the recent laws that have been applied to Poland. 

if you didn't know, all abortions have been made illegal, unless it was rape, incest or puts the mother at any risk.

if you are polish, i encourage you, keep fighting:
it is your right to abort your CLUMP OF F'ING CELLS.

no uterus, no opinion xoxo
my body, my choice !!

on top of that, even if im british, VOTE HIM OUT

david attenborough 2020 xoxoxo

rant over xo