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(A/N: special thanks to MetalWeeb for giving me this idea.)

BB: Goooooood morning, Chaldea! (or Shadow Border for some of you. I don't care! I'm BB!) today, we'll be having a meeting with the parental figures of Chaldea! We've got our resident father of humanity, Adam.

Adam: hey.

BB: next up, a well known mother (and fanservice material), Minamoto-no-Raikou!

Raikou: I'm so honored to be here.

BB: we've also got the criminal with the epic mustache, James Moriarty!

Moriarty: I'm just here to make Fran happy.

BB: then we got the woman who sees all as her children, Scathach-Skadi!

Scathach-Skadi: my, I hope my Valkyries are watching.

BB: and the King of Knights, Artoria Pendragon!

Artoria: Hi.

BB: then one of her knights, Sir Lancelot!

Lancelot: a pleasure to meet you. (Alright, try to look as awesome as you can for Mash.)

BB: and our resident Counter Force assassin, Kiritsugu Emiya!

Kiritsugu: ... I swear, if Irisviel didn't force me into this...

BB: lastly, but not least, the father of Rome. Romulus!

Romulus: Roma!

BB: we'll begin the interviews shortly! But first... Artoria, you're disqualified.

Artoria: wait, what!? I didn't even do anything yet! Besides, this isn't a competition!

BB: Uhmm... Are you serious? This is a meeting for good parents. Your chances of fitting here are %-110, and I'm being serious. I honestly did calculations and it literally says negative one hundred and ten. (Also, you - Saber Artoria - has the lowest chances of being here between your counterparts, which is something even I consider sad.)

Artoria: *Leaves while grumbling about how it's Mordred's fault.*

BB: Now, with that out of the way, let's get started! I'm going to ask a few questions, and you will try to answer them! First: what is the first thing you do in the morning with your child/children!

Adam: go greet them and make sure they don't kill each other, or, on rare occasions, bail one of them from the underworld because he worked himself to death.

Enkidu(in the crowd): he just mentioned you, Gil.

Gilgamesh Caster(in the crowd): I wish he didn't.

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Raikou: well, I would ask(read: force) them to have a shower with mommy!

Mash(in the crowd): Uhmm... Did that actually happen, Senpai?

Ritsuka(in the crowd): *look away without answering.*

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Moriarty: well, usually, I spend my mornings coming up with plans to ruin Holmes' morning, but I do like to have a nice morning cup of tea with Fran.

Fran(in the crowd): ahh... Uhhh... Ahhh(papa makes great tea.)

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Scathach-Skadi: I spend my morning enjoying some quality time with my Valkyries, mostly about letting one of them continue sleeping on my lap.

Thrud(in the crowd): Skadi-Sama's lap is so comfy. We also establish mental link, so it doesn't matter which one does it.

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