It Takes Everything I Have Not To Love You (Zankie fanfic)

Ch.25 trying

Frankie's pov

We went out for New Years with Ari,and AJ.We headed to this little bar on Times Square and Partied it up to the New year.We were there for an hour,when Zach sat next to me on in the VIP section Ari got.He started kissing my neck.

10:30 pm

"I can't wait...to start...trying...thats the..Fun part."Zach said kissing my neck.

"Yep."I said.Ari plopped down next to me,and Zach sat up straight.AJ grabbed Zach and pulled him to the bar with the promise of 2 for 1 Jell-O shots.Once they where out of sight I released a breath I didn't know I was holding and slouched in my seat.

"Thank you."I told Ari.

"You know,we can't save you forever."Ari said.

I covered my face with my hands.

"I knoooow.Yay,you just want to stay in New York for,you know,forever."I joked.Ari chucked.

"Frankie,you haft to tell him."Ari lectured.

"How?Hey Zach sorry but About a month ago I got a letter saying how I can't have kids,but not only that,remember that night we fought over what the doc said,ya he told me then too that I probably won't have kids and I didn't tell you.....,ya that's going to go over great."I said Ari smiled she looked up at me and her eyes widened."what?"I asked.Ari swallowed hard.I turned around and Zach was standing there,With his hands in his pockets,and AJ by his side,starring at the ground.Zach hand tears in his eyes but none fell.

Fuck!

Zach rocked back on his heals.And with out letting a single tear drop asked me."So,where you ever going to tell me or wait until I drove myself mad because I couldn't get you pregnant.Or,Or were you going to fine some Crazy reason to make me not want kids?!"Zach asked.

So screwed!

Zach looked at AJ and Ari."Did you guys know about this too!?"He asked

They shook there heads yes.

Zach shook his head in disbelief,and Locked his jaw then went Back to nothingness.

"I can't believe this.ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!Zach yelled.He ran a hand though His hair.

"I can't believe you would fucking keep this from me!What the fuck did you think I was going to do leave you!"Zach yelled.

"I can't believe you would do this to me!Why the fuck would you keep this From me!I thought you fucking loved me...I thought you fucking respected me more then this!I fucking love you and you shit on me like this!You know what..."Zach said reaching in his pocket.

No way.

"I Fucking kept it.It was my promise that he would alway's be with me,and that we would do it again and do it right.I fucking Believed in it."Zach said holding up the old pregnancy test."I told you it would never leave my side.This fucking stick was a promise we made to each other,and I had this in my pocket every damn day for 3 months now!And I had this big ass speech at mid night to tell you that I haven't give up hope and how I knew We would get it right this time,that the New year would bring the Good not the bad,but I don't fucking believe that anymore!"Zach yelled.He shoved it Back in his pocket.he never let one tear drop.He stormed out off the bar.

11:30 pm

I knew where he was going.I grabbed my coat and ran out into the crowd.I ran a couple blocks and Turned down A old road.I walked up to the gates that where cracked and New Zach was here.I knew he came here all the time,but never mentioned it.I only came back a few times,It hurt to much,after the day the grass came back...I never did,but that's was only 3 weeks ago.I looked up and read the sign.'New York Child Cemetery'.I took a deep breath and pushed open the gate.It creaked like in a horror movie.I walked in and passed the Graves with worn out Teddy bears,old toys and dead flowers.It was and old Cemetery,who's these kids parents are probably dead.The earliest date on a average tomb stone is 1899.We didn't care though,we wanted him with us,and this was the only one near.I walked down a small passage way into The words.I walked into the clearing.I could see Zach setting talking to the tomb stone.It was Black with bright white lettering on it.

Colin Marchione Rance-Grande Jr.
2015-2015

'I never heard you,but I hear you.
I never held you,but I feel you.
I never met you,but I love you.'

I walked over and set down next to Zach,he whipped a tear away.Zach closed his eyes and put his hand on my stomach.I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"I was so ready to be a dad."Zach mumbled,eyes still closed."I just with I could have felt the baby kick.I was ready to hold your hand when you brought us in to the world.I was so ready to be there for you....now I don't get that."Zach said.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you.I didn't know how."I told him.Tears ran down from his sealed eyes.

"I want to have a baby with you.I want a family with you.I just guess that I'll have to be the one to Carrie it."Zach said then opened his eyes,he let go off my stomach and Reached in his pocket and pulled out the pregnancy test,and held it at the ends.

"I'm ready to have a baby.Remember when you thought you got pregnant in the house for a reason?"Zach asked and I shook my head."Frankie I don't think that reason was because I was supposed to be come a dad.I think it was to show me that I WANTED to be a dad,that when ever I think I can't do this I can remember that I want to do this.Frankie.If you wouldn't have got pregnant......Of you wouldn't have got pregnant,I don't think I would be so ok with being out.I still ant a 100% ok with it.But I love you and I want to have a baby.I want to see this positive sign again,because when I saw this,I knew one day I would marry you,and we would raise our kid,or kids together,and we would be together forever,that one day you would come back and get me and you would lead me off into forever with you,because I love you Frankie and I want to marry you,and I want us to raise kids together.I want that For you,for me,for us.I love you Frankie and I want to spend the rest off my list de with you."Zach said tears porting down his face.I whipped away a tear.

"Zach,was that your wired way off purposing?"I asked

"Ya....."Zach took my hand."Frankie James Marchione Grande.Will you marry me?"Zach asked.before I could answer we heard screaming

FIVE,FOUR,

"YES!"I told him

THREE

"Yes?"

"Yes,I will Marry you!"

TWO,ONE HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Zach grabbed me and pulled me into the best kiss in my life.

12:00 Am

2015 beat me.I went on big brother again.I got pregnant.Zach one big brother.Life was never better for those short days.I lost my baby,and a part of myself.I couldn't have kids anymore.I survived.Zach purposed.And my life finally felt like it couldn't get better.

Ya 2015 beat the hell out of me,but if it wasn't the bast year of my life.......so far.

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A/N

Yes I know there was a retfrence from my other book in there