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Jay~
I must have really hurt Ally last night.
I've tried contacting her since I woke up, but she wouldn't answer any of my calls or texts. I finally took off and decided to wait by her house.
I waited and waited. It's probably already been an hour now, but all I've done is listen to music and rehearse what I want to tell her. I'll most likely blank out and say something completely different once we're face to face. I might even fuck up again. I'm so scared to lose her... that's literally the worst thought ever.
After a few minutes of waiting, a nice convertible finally parked right in front of her house. Ally came out of it, looking restless.
"Hey..." I tried to grab her hand, but she immediately pushed me away.
"I'm tired, and you're the very last person I'd like to talk to right now. Just leave me alone." She was about to slam the door shut, when I suddenly then put my fingers between the door crack.
"Stub my fingers right now, I dare you." I yelled and she let out a large sigh of exhaustion.
"Aren't you getting tired of annoying me? We're not eight anymore, grow up! I'm taking back what I said that day... you're still so fucking immature." She screamed over the top of her lungs.
She's seriously mad at me now, this isn't a joke anymore. It never was.
"Forgive me for what I've said last night. I thought I was protecting you... I was wrong, and you were right. I shouldn't have acted that way, and I said such hurtful words to you. If I could take back what I said, I would. I'm so sorry."
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Ally~
Jay's apology seemed very serious, and it's the first time he's ever done that so I feel very conflicted. Usually, we just let time fix our problems and it would turn out just fine.
Today was different. He was practically ready to go on his knees and beg for forgiveness.
"Why'd you come here?" I let him go into my room like usual. I wanted to pretend like everything was normal again, but he's the one acting all different.
"I just wanted to see if you're okay. You didn't answer any of my calls and texts, which got me all concerned. I also wanted to apologize." Jay ran his fingers through his hair, a habit of his.
"Can you stop doing that?" I mumbled.
"Doing what?" His eyes shot up at me.
"Caring so much about my life, being so overprotective of me. I can manage on my own, I'm not a child." I feel like these past few days, I've built up the courage to finally tell him what I honestly feel. I'm just really scared to hurt him as well.
"Maybe I want to take care of you," he looked down and took a deep breath. "It feels like he's already taking you away from me. I feel so threatened."
"I'm not an item you that you can just toss around." I crossed my arms and sat on the opposite side of the bed.
"All I wanted to say is that I don't ever wanna lose you, because you mean so much to me. You already know that- I've said this many times." He reminded me. It makes me feel like shit... especially because of Jake and I's plan to drive him away. I like Jay as a friend, but it ends there. It should.
"Maybe I'm the one that changed." I whispered under my breath.
"You definitely did. I'm not saying I like the past or new you better, but I'm definitely much more anxious this time." He reflected my words.
"I wanna start focusing on myself and Jake this time. As much as I enjoy hanging out with you, we can't do this as often anymore. I'm sorry. We can still go to the amusement park, but after that..." I just straight up told him.
"I understand. I'm sorry for being an asshole for twelve years. It sucks that you have to make excuses to push me away."
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FUN FACT: I started writing this book right after I-LAND and way before they debuted so like it's been a longgg time <3 Also, I've already written all the chapters:') Just decided to post it now bc I finally found the time and effort hehe
ALSO TXT & EN- PLAYGROUND IN A FEW HOURS OMGGG TAEHYUN AND JAY ARE IN THE SAME TEAM MY ULTS IM SCREAMING
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Song: GOLDEN (골든) — Hate Everything
(LYRICS: regretting the she's with someone else now and thinking of things he could have done differently if she was still his)
