Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Jay~
Ally hasn't talked to me since that day and I totally understand. It was explosive and both taunted us.
It's been what... three months now?
I used this time to recollect myself. Specifically my thoughts and feelings, as well as self care. I've been neglecting myself ever since stress started to creep up, but I'm trying to not let it consume me anymore.
My mom was yelling at me earlier, because she said my room's too messy and disorganized. I decided to just clean it today for my wellbeing, and also to get some heat off my mom's head. It's been a while since I tidied up my room, I admit.
I washed the bedsheets and my dirty clothes, folded and carefully put them back into my closet, scrubbed the toilet and shower area; organized my drawers and threw away any trash or unnecessary things that I don't need anymore. I also vacuumed and dusted.
While swiping the feather duster through the top shelf, a shoe box fell on my head and I winced. I looked down, and realized that a whole bunch of polaroid films came scattering down my carpeted floor.
I picked one up, and it's a picture of Ally and I in one of our school field trips. Probably around fifth grade? We went to a go-karting place that day, and had so much fun. The next polaroids were from camp, library dates during high school exams, our very first day of university, etc.
My favourite one of all though, was the picture from our last middle school dance. It was after graduation and we took pictures in a small photo booth provided by the school. It's not a polaroid, but it's just as cute.
The first picture, we're smiling very stiffly while staring at the camera. Second, we're making funny faces while wearing corny props. Lastly, a picture of me giving Ally a rose- her being shocked. It was a genuine reaction, and not something we talked about or rehearsed.
I was so dumb to not realize.
My mom suddenly came inside my room, and sighed in relief after seeing the difference. She sat beside me on the ground and began going through the polaroids as well.
"You two were so tiny and cute. You both were even the same height! Your growth spurt was really impressive," she laughed while holding the picture up beside my face. "I haven't seen Ally in a while. You should invite her over soon."
"I don't think so." I suddenly felt the urge to pick all the pictures up, then dump them back into the shoe box.
"Why not? Did you two get into a fight again? I swear next time, I'll actually hit your heads together! You're both so petty and stubborn." She clicked her tongue while getting up to sit on a chair, because the ground hurts her back.
"I mean.... I guess somewhat. We haven't talked for three months." I rubbed the back of my neck and mom just stared at me in confusion.
"Tell mom everything." She pouted and I just sighed. My mom has always been my other best friend since I was in the womb, and technically knows anything and everything about me. It's really difficult to hide things from her.
"She has a boyfriend already. They've been together for a while now, and seem very stable. I didn't wanna interfere with their relationship." I honestly told her.
"So? You can still be friends with someone in a relationship... unless you're the one that has a problem with it. Don't tell me you're starting to have feelings for Ally?" Mom's gaze was literally piercing right through my soul.
"Yes, I like her." I blurted out and she gasped.
It's actually my first time saying that out loud, so I'm just as shocked. I never knew I could say it so easily.
"That's very complicated," she sighed. "I trust your decisions, and I'm glad you chose to stay away. You probably feel so burdened."
"Is it bad that I'm praying for their breakup? I know she's happy, but I keep wanting more for myself. I'm so selfish."
"No, you're just in love. Being in love makes us do selfish things."
___________________________
The reads and votes for this book have been super even and consistent! Thank you so much AAA that makes me so happy <3
⭐️
Song: ENHYPEN (엔하이픈) — Polaroid Love
UPDATE: 2022/01/10 Had to change it to this song bc it's literally perfect for it lol
