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25. My Bleeding Heart

*Ezra POV*

Although I was on my way back to Texas, I didn't feel like going back at all. That night memories were still hurting. I was sleep-deprived, had dark circles around my eyes but above all I was in pain. My heart was bleeding, I cried so much that all my tears have dried up. Nothing excited me anymore. Not even marriages. I insisted Mrs. Mills let me handle the marriage in New Orleans to run away from everything for time being. The entire week I felt suffocated and restless. I just wanted to finish my work and leave.

Well, my outside appearance looked fine by applying some concealers but the inside is completely exhausted. My body could shut down any moment but I could not sleep. My eyes were burning and had turned red due to lack of sleep but it seemed like even my sleep had broken up with me. So, I just kept my eyes shut pretending to sleep the entire flight. I just wanted to rest and forget everything.

____~•~____

The flight landed early in the morning. It was still dark when I collected my bag and went out of the airport to look for a cab. Tay offered to come to pick me up but I didn't want to bother her at such an odd hour. I was walking while blankly dreaming that I didn't even realize where I was heading until I saw him. His presence brought me comfort and pain. I didn't want to face him so fast, not when I wasn't stable, both mentally and physically. I quickly turned the other way but he caught up with me, "Where do you think you're going?" I ignored his question and just kept walking but he again came in the front and blocked me. "Please Ez come with me. We need to talk."

Talk? Really? After breaking my heart, he wanted to talk? "There's nothing to talk about. We are over." I tried to walk away but he held my wrist and tossed me over his shoulders while dragging my luggage with his other hand. I kept hitting him on his back and screamed for help but all my pleas and cries fell into deaf ears. I even tried to outsmart him when he put me down but he caught me on time and locked me inside his car. After putting my luggage in the backseat he sat in the car and drove off. "Why are you doing this Mike? At least be loyal to your love." How much I wished to be his love, but he made it pretty clear that I meant nothing to him.

"That's exactly what I am doing, my love." He said looking at me with so much passion and warmth that for a moment I forgot about everything. He wiped my tears which were flowing down my face. "Don't touch me." I shoved his hand away. As much as I wanted his warm touch to calm me down, I could not forget the betrayal.

"Please don't cry, Ez. My heart aches to see you like this. I just wanted to talk."

I sat there stupefied. His heartaches? What about my heart which broke into pieces when I saw him kissing Kiara that night? Instantly I felt like the scene from that night was replaying in front of my eyes.

I had gone to confess my love to him but thank god I saved myself from looking like a fool by doing that. That night I drove rashly and broke several signals. I was crying. I was angry. I was a complete mess but still made it to Taysha's house in one piece. I rang the doorbell and hugged her tightly when she opened the door. "Hey shhh... what happened? Why are you crying?"

I was a crying mess. "I sa..saw Michael ki..kiss..kissing a girl." She broke our hug and took me to the couch. She made me sit and brought water for me. I drank a little and kept the glass on the table. She asked me to breathe long and tried calming me down. She cooed soothing words to me but nothing worked. I started doubting myself. "There might be some fault in me that's why I was cheated on by my boyfriends. What do I lack that they go to other women? Am I not good enough?"

"Stop right there Ez. Never doubt yourself. You are a strong and independent woman. In fact, they don't deserve your love."

"Love? Am I still looking for it? No. It has only caused me pain. Maybe I don't have any luck with love."